"I love you."

In chapter 3 of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, the Insight Journal asks you to consider various scenarios when a situation would be ministry (seeking your best interest) versus when it would be manipulation (seeking my best interest). What do you think about this one?

Valentine’s Day was right around the corner—the time to celebrate love and affection, when love is in the air. If you sit at home on February 14th, you are labeled as a loser, destined to become a grumpy old man who dies alone. Jared certainly did not want that inscription on his tombstone!

As he made his rounds at the office, Jared hovered in one cubicle after another.
“Sally, you know you are my favorite secretary of all! Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Tiffany, you look radiant in that black dress. Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Mary Jane, you know how to make the best coffee. Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Hannah, you know you don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Will you go out with me?”

Hannah DID know she didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, so she agreed to Jared’s invitation.

After spending way too much money on a stunning dress and over-priced shoes that she would never wear again, Hannah primped for hours with the goal to WOW Jared. When she met him at the door, she knew she attained her goal.

Jared loved how Hannah made him feel. And later that Valentine’s night he whispered, “I love you” to be able to gratify more of his desires. Hannah believed Jared’s words sealed a commitment of care and compassion and responded, “I love you, too.”

Ministry (seeking your best interest) or manipulation (seeking my best interest)? When we do not allow the Holy Spirit to control our lives, we are merely seeking self-satisfaction.

Did this make you think of an example where someone used manipulation instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to exhibit kindness in his or her life? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.

Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit kindness or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.