relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
For approximately forty years Kirk could recall the night his father left home. Mama and his three siblings cowered behind an old car in the yard while, in a drunken tirade, their father threatened to kill them. After all the years of estrangement, Kirk and Melanie headed to an address where they were told John Lewis could be found.
We had just completed a Desperate Dependency conference at a church in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, where Melanie once again elaborated on the topic of Moving from Anger to Forgiveness. Kirk believed he had forgiven his dad and was allowing God to be responsible for his father. Resolved that his father would never meet his paternal needs, Kirk abandoned his desire for an earthly father and found a relationship with a heavenly father instead. Kirk was not seeking his dad for any resolution or for anything he needed from him.
Resolved that he would never see his father again, Kirk imagined seeing his dad in a coffin. But now a disruptive force entered the scene as we were faced with becoming reacquainted with John Lewis. Tempted to reclaim the debt that was owed, there had never been a time when the principles of forgiveness were so profoundly clear. “My dad owes me nothing. Instead he owes God for everything.” There was no debt to collect.
Kirk was freed from having to interact with the debt. The awkwardness of the looming encounter dissipated into peace. The anxiousness of “What will I do with him now?” vanished into an understanding of God’s sovereign plan that was unfolding. We only needed to face the opportunity in truth depending upon Christ to give guidance that would navigate this relationship.
How would the debt be satisfied?
The many years of alcoholism and sinful living had taken their toll. Fourteen years ago John encountered a near death experience that resulted in a change from alcoholism to sobriety, from being a chain smoker to being tobacco free. For the first time Melanie was introduced to her father-in-law, by a son that John did not recognize. As we sat for hours, John repeatedly expressed his amazement that we had come to find him. But he claimed that he had imagined that it would happen this way one day. The conversation was strained by the lost years, but casual reminiscence filled the silence.
John recognized himself as a sinful man, and claims that he has asked God to forgive him 1000 times. With confident assurance, he believes that Jesus died for his sins, has forgiven him, and that he will one day be with Christ in eternity. Dad, with a quiver in his voice, proclaimed, “I know that that Jesus died for my sins and I believe with all my heart that He arose from the dead. I can’t prove it but I sure do believe it.”
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Christ Is Relevant to Unemployment
relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
This is how Heather tells her story.
My boss called me into his office after lunch on a Tuesday afternoon. Didn’t seem like a big deal. I went over there and was totally caught off guard by the effects of the slow economy and layoff. I was told how I was a wonderful employee for the last almost 8 years and that it wasn’t anything personal, just my particular position was being eliminated. I was told I could gather my things and go home and come back at a later date to clear out my desk. This really shook my world up. I could have reacted so many different ways. Of course I was upset and it wasn’t the plan I would have chosen. But that day I chose to believe God is who He says He is and trust Him to provide for my three children and me!
Thru this layoff I have been able to be such a witness to my former co-workers and show them that Christ really does make a difference and give God the glory thru this!
God has also given me so much extra time with my children that I am treasuring while I am doing my “dream job” of being a stay-at-home mommy. While I know this a temporary job since the pay is low, I am enjoying every moment I can!
God also has provided me with so much extra rest! Being a single mom to three kids for the past five years makes one tired! I didn’t even know to ask God for a break and yet in His mercy He decided to give me such a great break during a time when I needed it!
While I am waiting for God to show me the next path He wants me to take, I am watching Him continue to provide for my family and me exceedingly and abundantly! He continues to constantly amaze me! He more than meets our needs! He even meets so many of our wants! He has provided for my son to go on a mission trip this summer and my daughter to attend church camp. And so many other things!
I could have so easily slipped into a time of depression on that day in January, which would have been my normal defense mechanism. I am so thankful that I have learned how to find Christ relevant to every area of my life, and choose to believe the truth about God!
This is how Heather tells her story.
My boss called me into his office after lunch on a Tuesday afternoon. Didn’t seem like a big deal. I went over there and was totally caught off guard by the effects of the slow economy and layoff. I was told how I was a wonderful employee for the last almost 8 years and that it wasn’t anything personal, just my particular position was being eliminated. I was told I could gather my things and go home and come back at a later date to clear out my desk. This really shook my world up. I could have reacted so many different ways. Of course I was upset and it wasn’t the plan I would have chosen. But that day I chose to believe God is who He says He is and trust Him to provide for my three children and me!
Thru this layoff I have been able to be such a witness to my former co-workers and show them that Christ really does make a difference and give God the glory thru this!
God has also given me so much extra time with my children that I am treasuring while I am doing my “dream job” of being a stay-at-home mommy. While I know this a temporary job since the pay is low, I am enjoying every moment I can!
God also has provided me with so much extra rest! Being a single mom to three kids for the past five years makes one tired! I didn’t even know to ask God for a break and yet in His mercy He decided to give me such a great break during a time when I needed it!
While I am waiting for God to show me the next path He wants me to take, I am watching Him continue to provide for my family and me exceedingly and abundantly! He continues to constantly amaze me! He more than meets our needs! He even meets so many of our wants! He has provided for my son to go on a mission trip this summer and my daughter to attend church camp. And so many other things!
I could have so easily slipped into a time of depression on that day in January, which would have been my normal defense mechanism. I am so thankful that I have learned how to find Christ relevant to every area of my life, and choose to believe the truth about God!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Christ Is Relevant to Depression
relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
This is how Amanda tells her story about finding Christ relevant to her depression.
God has taught me to be more dependent upon Him through a struggle I’m having with depression. I tried to find my love, joy, and peace in people. It didn’t work. I felt disappointed. I tried to find it in my job. It didn’t work. I felt dissatisfied. I even tried to find worth and value in how I looked. And again it didn’t work. I have too many imperfections. The only way I could find my love, joy, and peace is through Christ and Christ alone.
I’ve let this struggle with depression almost destroy me. Life the past five years has been somewhat miserable for me because I was trying to find my worth and value in things other than Christ. I spent many days lying in bed thinking, “how could God love someone like me” and thinking, “I have no purpose.” Thankfully, God has helped me to change my thoughts in so many ways, although it is an area where I’m still healing. I now know God loves me and know that He does have a purpose for me.
I am a Kindergarten teacher and have been for 5 years. The first few years of teaching I didn’t really think to pray for my students. I mostly focused on myself and what I could or couldn’t do. These years were not my best because I had my focus in the wrong place. Not having God in the center of my life caused me turn inward and because of this I ended up depressed.
It’s only been recently that I’ve changed my perspective in my job and can now see the reasons why God has placed me in a classroom full of 5 & 6 year olds. I’ve learned that I should take time to pray for my students and their families every day. I am there to make a difference in the children’s lives and want to share God's love with them. Teaching my students their ABC’s or to count to 100 is important, but not as important as them knowing God loves them.
My purpose is to be His servant and to be dependent upon Him in every area of my life. I just have to remind myself each day to keep my focus on God and off of myself. I pray for God to give me strength to make it through the day, because without Him I couldn’t get very far.
This is how Amanda tells her story about finding Christ relevant to her depression.
God has taught me to be more dependent upon Him through a struggle I’m having with depression. I tried to find my love, joy, and peace in people. It didn’t work. I felt disappointed. I tried to find it in my job. It didn’t work. I felt dissatisfied. I even tried to find worth and value in how I looked. And again it didn’t work. I have too many imperfections. The only way I could find my love, joy, and peace is through Christ and Christ alone.
I’ve let this struggle with depression almost destroy me. Life the past five years has been somewhat miserable for me because I was trying to find my worth and value in things other than Christ. I spent many days lying in bed thinking, “how could God love someone like me” and thinking, “I have no purpose.” Thankfully, God has helped me to change my thoughts in so many ways, although it is an area where I’m still healing. I now know God loves me and know that He does have a purpose for me.
I am a Kindergarten teacher and have been for 5 years. The first few years of teaching I didn’t really think to pray for my students. I mostly focused on myself and what I could or couldn’t do. These years were not my best because I had my focus in the wrong place. Not having God in the center of my life caused me turn inward and because of this I ended up depressed.
It’s only been recently that I’ve changed my perspective in my job and can now see the reasons why God has placed me in a classroom full of 5 & 6 year olds. I’ve learned that I should take time to pray for my students and their families every day. I am there to make a difference in the children’s lives and want to share God's love with them. Teaching my students their ABC’s or to count to 100 is important, but not as important as them knowing God loves them.
My purpose is to be His servant and to be dependent upon Him in every area of my life. I just have to remind myself each day to keep my focus on God and off of myself. I pray for God to give me strength to make it through the day, because without Him I couldn’t get very far.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Christ Is Relevant to Safety
relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
This is how Jennifer tells her story of how Christ Is Relevant to her safety issues.
I remember when we got to chapter 6 of Desperate Dependency where we were talking about the 3 pillars of Christianity: God is real, God is love, and God is sovereign. It’s how we view these truths about God that effects how we live. It was during the particular section of “God is sovereign; therefore, He is trustworthy” that a phone call from my mom woke me up in the middle of the night saying that my brother was in the hospital. He was helping a friend move and was in the wrong part of town at the wrong time. He was attacked by a group of guys, and he had been beaten up. I lay awake that night trying to pray and understand this. In fear and frustration, I asked God, “If You are sovereign, if You are trustworthy, why didn’t You protect my brother from this? You could have stopped this from happening, yet You didn’t. Are You really sovereign? Can I really trust You with my life or even with my kids’ lives?” My mind knew this truth about God, but my heart didn’t believe it. Bad things happen all the time to people, and I felt tremendous fear knowing that if this happened to him, it could certainly happen to me. After all, I’m single, and I really need someone I can trust to protect me. I really struggled with believing this truth about God. But just because I didn’t believe Him to be trustworthy didn’t make it any less true.
This past November, while I was at work, my house was broken into. Being a single mom of two kids and living alone, this was terrifying for me. A stranger had invaded my safe place and suddenly it didn’t feel safe anymore. In the past my first thought would have been, “See, God, this just proves it. You may be sovereign, but You certainly can’t be trusted.” But thanks to my amazing God and His work in my life through the process of Desperate Dependency, I was able to trust in His sovereignty and His plan that night. My entire way of thinking about God and who He is has been changed through all this. All those distorted views I had about God are being replaced by the truth of who He really is. God’s will for our lives, what He wants most for us, is to be more like Him, and He loves us enough to accomplish this, even if it is through tragedy. God will take the bad things in our life, turn them for good, and in the process, draw us closer to Him. Although I didn’t sleep much those first few nights after my house was broken into, I was peaceful. I was able to rest in the peace of knowing that even if it’s bad, nothing will ever touch my life that doesn’t filter through God first because I am His child. Every day He is taking the bad and using it to shape me a little more into His image. The fear and confusion I felt all those months ago when my brother was attacked was replaced with peace and assurance that God IS sovereign, and because of that, He CAN be trusted.
This is how Jennifer tells her story of how Christ Is Relevant to her safety issues.
I remember when we got to chapter 6 of Desperate Dependency where we were talking about the 3 pillars of Christianity: God is real, God is love, and God is sovereign. It’s how we view these truths about God that effects how we live. It was during the particular section of “God is sovereign; therefore, He is trustworthy” that a phone call from my mom woke me up in the middle of the night saying that my brother was in the hospital. He was helping a friend move and was in the wrong part of town at the wrong time. He was attacked by a group of guys, and he had been beaten up. I lay awake that night trying to pray and understand this. In fear and frustration, I asked God, “If You are sovereign, if You are trustworthy, why didn’t You protect my brother from this? You could have stopped this from happening, yet You didn’t. Are You really sovereign? Can I really trust You with my life or even with my kids’ lives?” My mind knew this truth about God, but my heart didn’t believe it. Bad things happen all the time to people, and I felt tremendous fear knowing that if this happened to him, it could certainly happen to me. After all, I’m single, and I really need someone I can trust to protect me. I really struggled with believing this truth about God. But just because I didn’t believe Him to be trustworthy didn’t make it any less true.
This past November, while I was at work, my house was broken into. Being a single mom of two kids and living alone, this was terrifying for me. A stranger had invaded my safe place and suddenly it didn’t feel safe anymore. In the past my first thought would have been, “See, God, this just proves it. You may be sovereign, but You certainly can’t be trusted.” But thanks to my amazing God and His work in my life through the process of Desperate Dependency, I was able to trust in His sovereignty and His plan that night. My entire way of thinking about God and who He is has been changed through all this. All those distorted views I had about God are being replaced by the truth of who He really is. God’s will for our lives, what He wants most for us, is to be more like Him, and He loves us enough to accomplish this, even if it is through tragedy. God will take the bad things in our life, turn them for good, and in the process, draw us closer to Him. Although I didn’t sleep much those first few nights after my house was broken into, I was peaceful. I was able to rest in the peace of knowing that even if it’s bad, nothing will ever touch my life that doesn’t filter through God first because I am His child. Every day He is taking the bad and using it to shape me a little more into His image. The fear and confusion I felt all those months ago when my brother was attacked was replaced with peace and assurance that God IS sovereign, and because of that, He CAN be trusted.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Christ is Relevant to Tornadoes and Loss
relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)
Angie had attained her goal. They had moved into the perfect house in the perfect subdivision, and she was going to make sure everything stayed perfect. Her floors were polished with a perfect shine. The walls were painted with designer paint. The baseboards were repainted every time a scuff appeared. The children were delighted that they were not allowed to wear their shoes in the house, but not so delighted that they were only allowed to have one toy out of its designated location at a time. Their yard was meticulously manicured, with every pebble in place, and not a dandelion to be found. Angie was convinced her house was the evidence she was in right standing with God. After all, look at how He had blessed her! Her house gave her a sense of worth and value.
But then the tornado came. Within a few brief moments everything was lost, except the family’s lives. And even more devastating was the fact that the insurance company did not reimburse for losses occurring as a result of “acts of God.” Why had God left her with unhappiness, despair, disappointment, and jealousy?
Grieving is the process of adjusting your life because something is lost. As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, there are two avenues we may take. We may fall into toxic grief, or we may choose healthy grief.
Toxic grief results when we adjust our lives based on lies. Our choices are poisoned by the deception we accept as truth. The downward spiral of toxic grief may resemble this scenario: “I lost my job; I have no way to support my family; I am worthless; we won’t have any food; our house will go into foreclosure; we will be on the streets at Christmastime; my life is over.”
Healthy grief views loss from the perspective of God’s truths. The same scenario can result in praise and earnest expectation: “I lost my job because I stood for what is right; God promises He will supply my every need (Phil. 4:19); God declares He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5); He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11); I can trust God (Ps. 28:7).”
Grief issues span the spectrum of what might be considered insignificant to some through extreme crisis situations. It is the essence of grief to coexist with what we cannot control, and it is essential that we are content in Christ while coexisting with what we can’t control. The intensity of the grief often reveals the value an individual has placed on a person, position, or possession. In the resolution of grief it is imperative to recognize Christ as relevant to every situation we encounter. “How does God expect me to adjust my life based on this loss and remembering His love, care, and trustworthiness?” Yes, this applies to tornadoes, cancer, divorce, death, and every other scenario we can conjure up. God is fully capable of handling us through everything!
(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)
Angie had attained her goal. They had moved into the perfect house in the perfect subdivision, and she was going to make sure everything stayed perfect. Her floors were polished with a perfect shine. The walls were painted with designer paint. The baseboards were repainted every time a scuff appeared. The children were delighted that they were not allowed to wear their shoes in the house, but not so delighted that they were only allowed to have one toy out of its designated location at a time. Their yard was meticulously manicured, with every pebble in place, and not a dandelion to be found. Angie was convinced her house was the evidence she was in right standing with God. After all, look at how He had blessed her! Her house gave her a sense of worth and value.
But then the tornado came. Within a few brief moments everything was lost, except the family’s lives. And even more devastating was the fact that the insurance company did not reimburse for losses occurring as a result of “acts of God.” Why had God left her with unhappiness, despair, disappointment, and jealousy?
Grieving is the process of adjusting your life because something is lost. As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, there are two avenues we may take. We may fall into toxic grief, or we may choose healthy grief.
Toxic grief results when we adjust our lives based on lies. Our choices are poisoned by the deception we accept as truth. The downward spiral of toxic grief may resemble this scenario: “I lost my job; I have no way to support my family; I am worthless; we won’t have any food; our house will go into foreclosure; we will be on the streets at Christmastime; my life is over.”
Healthy grief views loss from the perspective of God’s truths. The same scenario can result in praise and earnest expectation: “I lost my job because I stood for what is right; God promises He will supply my every need (Phil. 4:19); God declares He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5); He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11); I can trust God (Ps. 28:7).”
Grief issues span the spectrum of what might be considered insignificant to some through extreme crisis situations. It is the essence of grief to coexist with what we cannot control, and it is essential that we are content in Christ while coexisting with what we can’t control. The intensity of the grief often reveals the value an individual has placed on a person, position, or possession. In the resolution of grief it is imperative to recognize Christ as relevant to every situation we encounter. “How does God expect me to adjust my life based on this loss and remembering His love, care, and trustworthiness?” Yes, this applies to tornadoes, cancer, divorce, death, and every other scenario we can conjure up. God is fully capable of handling us through everything!
Friday, April 22, 2011
The Hunt
(excerpt from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)
My (Melanie) Opi (German grandfather) always delighted in the fun tradition of an Easter egg hunt for all ages. For him, Easter was the second most festive holiday of the year. It was celebrated like a mini-Christmas. “Eggs” were hidden for all in attendance. The designated “Easter Bunny” would hide the treasures throughout the yard. Of course chocolates and other treats could be discovered, but gifts were also strategically located. Some were addressed to a specific recipient; others were fair game to all. If you found an egg with a name other than your own on it, you would quietly leave it in its place for the designated owner.
When no more loot could be found, eager hunters would sit to evaluate their bounty. The Easter Bunny would invariably oversee and notice that some prizes had not been claimed. Others would comment, “I saw an egg for you still sitting somewhere.” Enthusiastically, the hunter would begin his search again. If the prize still remained undiscovered, an offer of assistance was made.
The assistance was most often orchestrated by my Opi, who was a choir director. The hunter was instructed to begin heading in one direction or another. The singing from the “choir” would become louder or softer depending on whether the hunter was getting closer or farther from the destination. All were elated when the trophy was acquired.
This story illustrates the idea that God does not hide His will from us because He does not want us to know His plans. He desires for us to be active participants in relating to Him. “It is God’s privilege to conceal things / and the king’s privilege to discover them” (Prov. 25:2 NLT). There is great reward in pursuing a goal and attaining what the giver intended for us to have. We must simply look in the right place.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." (James 1:5–8 NIV)
My (Melanie) Opi (German grandfather) always delighted in the fun tradition of an Easter egg hunt for all ages. For him, Easter was the second most festive holiday of the year. It was celebrated like a mini-Christmas. “Eggs” were hidden for all in attendance. The designated “Easter Bunny” would hide the treasures throughout the yard. Of course chocolates and other treats could be discovered, but gifts were also strategically located. Some were addressed to a specific recipient; others were fair game to all. If you found an egg with a name other than your own on it, you would quietly leave it in its place for the designated owner.
When no more loot could be found, eager hunters would sit to evaluate their bounty. The Easter Bunny would invariably oversee and notice that some prizes had not been claimed. Others would comment, “I saw an egg for you still sitting somewhere.” Enthusiastically, the hunter would begin his search again. If the prize still remained undiscovered, an offer of assistance was made.
The assistance was most often orchestrated by my Opi, who was a choir director. The hunter was instructed to begin heading in one direction or another. The singing from the “choir” would become louder or softer depending on whether the hunter was getting closer or farther from the destination. All were elated when the trophy was acquired.
This story illustrates the idea that God does not hide His will from us because He does not want us to know His plans. He desires for us to be active participants in relating to Him. “It is God’s privilege to conceal things / and the king’s privilege to discover them” (Prov. 25:2 NLT). There is great reward in pursuing a goal and attaining what the giver intended for us to have. We must simply look in the right place.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." (James 1:5–8 NIV)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Christ Is Relevant to Eating Disorders
relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)
Shirley was empowered in her job working as a human resource officer for a prominent company. Her husband was a local celebrity. She enjoyed all the food she wanted. Life was good. Until her husband left her for another woman, and she lost her job as a result of medical complications that were exacerbated by her obesity. This is how she tells her story.
I used to live my life waiting to find a way to beat the system. (God was the system.) I didn’t ask for much. I just wanted to be able to sin and get away with it. But sin has a way of eating at your heart with a silence so deadly you sometimes don’t even know it’s happening until you are almost consumed.
That was me. After hundreds of attempts to lose weight and control my life, I thought I would get my weight problem under control and come to feel better about myself and then everything would be peachy-keen.
God had other plans. He planned to rescue me from Egypt. That all sounded well and good, but I had no idea that between the good old hometown of Egypt and the wonderful Promised Land that I longed for, was a scorching hot, almost unbearable desert.
I remained there for a long, long time with nothing in sight but more desert. God took that opportunity to hold a mirror before me so I could come to see the depth of my sinfulness for the very first time. You see, I thought it was just a weight problem, and maybe I just needed some self-esteem. But God began to reveal to my heart that my problem was that I was living in complete deception and had been my whole life.
I guess we all spend some time on the edge. I’ve sort of lived my life there. I kept thinking that I could always change later. But God brought me to the end of myself and I was completely sickened by what I saw. It was the first time in my life that I could not find anything in that mirror but a reflection of filthy rags. What a horrifying moment that was for my self-centered heart. And what a liberating moment it was as God accepted me right where I was, asking nothing but that I put my complete trust in Him.
Somewhere along the line I started to long for Jesus more than I was afraid of losing control of the food. He had proven Himself faithful, and I began to trust this God that I used to fear with all my heart. At the point I finally gave it up and left it at the foot of the cross, I couldn’t find any words to say except, “God, save me from me.” I hold on to the hope found in Christ Jesus alone. May God continue to save me from myself.
Food occupied the God-place of Shirley's heart. But she found Jesus relevant when she chose an intimate relationship with Christ that satisfied the hunger of her soul. Trusting the love of God began to right all that was wrong and to heal all that was wounded as God, in His grace, moved her from perpetual starvation to finding fulfillment in His fullness.
Shirley was empowered in her job working as a human resource officer for a prominent company. Her husband was a local celebrity. She enjoyed all the food she wanted. Life was good. Until her husband left her for another woman, and she lost her job as a result of medical complications that were exacerbated by her obesity. This is how she tells her story.
I used to live my life waiting to find a way to beat the system. (God was the system.) I didn’t ask for much. I just wanted to be able to sin and get away with it. But sin has a way of eating at your heart with a silence so deadly you sometimes don’t even know it’s happening until you are almost consumed.
That was me. After hundreds of attempts to lose weight and control my life, I thought I would get my weight problem under control and come to feel better about myself and then everything would be peachy-keen.
God had other plans. He planned to rescue me from Egypt. That all sounded well and good, but I had no idea that between the good old hometown of Egypt and the wonderful Promised Land that I longed for, was a scorching hot, almost unbearable desert.
I remained there for a long, long time with nothing in sight but more desert. God took that opportunity to hold a mirror before me so I could come to see the depth of my sinfulness for the very first time. You see, I thought it was just a weight problem, and maybe I just needed some self-esteem. But God began to reveal to my heart that my problem was that I was living in complete deception and had been my whole life.
I guess we all spend some time on the edge. I’ve sort of lived my life there. I kept thinking that I could always change later. But God brought me to the end of myself and I was completely sickened by what I saw. It was the first time in my life that I could not find anything in that mirror but a reflection of filthy rags. What a horrifying moment that was for my self-centered heart. And what a liberating moment it was as God accepted me right where I was, asking nothing but that I put my complete trust in Him.
Somewhere along the line I started to long for Jesus more than I was afraid of losing control of the food. He had proven Himself faithful, and I began to trust this God that I used to fear with all my heart. At the point I finally gave it up and left it at the foot of the cross, I couldn’t find any words to say except, “God, save me from me.” I hold on to the hope found in Christ Jesus alone. May God continue to save me from myself.
Food occupied the God-place of Shirley's heart. But she found Jesus relevant when she chose an intimate relationship with Christ that satisfied the hunger of her soul. Trusting the love of God began to right all that was wrong and to heal all that was wounded as God, in His grace, moved her from perpetual starvation to finding fulfillment in His fullness.
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