Not My Job

CONSIDER
Sometimes wounded souls fall for the lie that they must pay for an offense that was done against them. For example, an adolescent may believe she must always carry the shame that was forced on her when she was molested. Or a divorced spouse may never again be happy as a result of the unfaithfulness of his partner. Or a sibling must continuously make allowances and excuses to cover up the deviance of her brother. Do not forget that Satan is the master deceiver, and he is eager to use any device to keep us from experiencing our freedom in Christ.

BIBLE TRUTH

So now, come back to your God.

Act with love and justice,
and always depend on him. (Hos. 12:6 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
By myself I cannot withstand the onslaught of Satan, who unrelentingly attempts to persuade me that I can be solely responsible for all areas of my life. Too many times I have fallen for the lie that I am capable of fulfilling God’s job description of Savior, sustainer, and benefactor. But I am not designed to fulfill His job description any more than a two-year-old who is playing house can assume the responsibilities of a wife and mother. Satan makes it look so easy to perform God’s responsibilities, while at the same time convincing us that it is so hard to let God be in control!

We must resign from our job of playing God and allow Him to assume His rightful position. He is the only one who can forgive sin, and I must resign from my self-appointed duty of attempting to collect all the debt I believe is owed to me. Because He forgave all my sin, I must continue relying on Him to exercise His righteous justice on my behalf. Not only must I trust Him to forgive my sin, I must rely on Him to redeem me from the sins of others who have hurt me. Without the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives, we are totally incapable of living the abundant life He designed for us to experience as a result of our desperately dependent relationship with Him. As we rely on Him to complete His work in our lives, we can experience all He has to offer those who allow Him to reign supreme.

PRAYER
I return, to You, my Lord and my God, for my sins have brought me down. I bring my confessions, and return to You, the Lord. Forgive all my sins and graciously receive me, so that I may offer You my praises. Help me be wise to understand these things. Let me have discernment and listen carefully. The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. (Hosea 14:1–2, 9)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Forgive, Then What?

CONSIDER
So what are you to do after an account has been turned over for collection? It would be wise to make notations ***!!!!!!*** and to be alert for future infractions. Although your personal ledger sheet may indicate a zero balance, when an account is turned over for collection, it has not been settled. You may not forget that the injustice occurred, but you must remember that it is not your duty to see that it is paid. Retribution is not your responsibility. You can be free from the burdens of anger and bitterness while still exercising caution to avoid future violations.

BIBLE TRUTH

O my people, trust in him at all times.

Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge. (Ps. 62:8 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Operate on a “cash basis only” policy as you consider whether trust can be regained. Even though an individual may claim God has forgiven him or her, you must be desperately dependent on His direction for verification of the truth.

Guaranteed, Satan will be tempting you frequently to reclaim the outstanding balance. He will suggest a multitude of methods that you could employ to reassume control and attempt to make sure that the offending party pays for what he or she has done to you. In those moments you remind Satan and yourself that you are no longer responsible for collecting this debt. You have turned the responsibility over to God, who will handle the account as He sees fit.

PRAYER
God, You have spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to You; unfailing love, O Lord, is Yours. Surely You repay all people according to what they have done. . . . (Ps. 62:11–12)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Evidence of Forgiveness

CONSIDER
Ultimately all sin is an offense against God. Without forgiveness there is no redemption. Forgiveness is the evidence of a redeemed soul.

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
      I have done what is evil in your sight. (Ps. 51:4 NLT)

BIBLE TRUTH

My soul waits in silence for God only;
From Him is my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken. (Ps. 62:1–2 NASB)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The debt that is owed as the result of an injustice is ultimately owed to Him. As we lead desperately dependent lives we will allow all debts to be His responsibility. Only God is capable of resolving our crisis.

PRAYER
God, let all that I am wait quietly before You, for my hope is in You. You alone are my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from You alone. You are my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. So I will only fear You, LORD, and serve You in truth with all my heart; for I consider what great things You have done for me. . . . (Ps. 62:5–7, 1 Sam. 12:24)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Terms of Forgiveness

CONSIDER
Millions of people have repeated the Lord’s Prayer, which states, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt. 6:12 NLT). Since we only mechanically quote the passage, we neglect to recognize the conditions and terms of forgiveness. Do we really want God to forgive us in the same way we are forgiving others? In the verses immediately following the Lord’s Prayer Jesus elaborates further.

BIBLE TRUTH
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14–15 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
In the same way you have been forgiven of your outstanding debts that cannot be satisfied except through Christ’s death, He also stands ready to forgive all who come to Him for forgiveness. We are much more eager to accept this forgiveness for ourselves than we are to allow the same justice to be meted out on those who have offended us.

PRAYER
Our Father in heaven, may Your name be kept holy. May Your Kingdom come soon. May Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. . . . (Matt. 6:9–13 NLT)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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The Divine Collection Agency

CONSIDER
Often when Jesus taught about forgiveness He used a financial illustration to convey the concept. As with businesses, complications arise when bad debts remain in our lives, so accounts must be settled appropriately. There are occasions when there is no way a debt can be satisfied because the offense is so great. In those times it is essential to turn the account over to our divine collection agency. We must determine that we will no longer exert any energy in the collection of the debt, but allow God to be responsible for the account. With open hands we can release the strongholds that have bound us to our anger and bitterness. The only One who is truly capable of collecting the debt will see to it that justice is served.

BIBLE TRUTH
“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9 NLT).

“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross” (Col. 2:14 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Often we are reluctant to allow God to handle our accounts because we are not convinced we will be satisfied with the outcome. How will God settle the account? There are two methods God will use to reconcile outstanding debts. Either the offender will pay in hell for all eternity, or Christ’s death will cover the penalty.

PRAYER
Lord, I need Your help to stop being angry! Please help me turn from my rage! I do not want to lose my temper— it only leads to harm. I know that day by day You take care of the innocent, and we will receive an inheritance that lasts forever. I trust that You will destroy the wicked, and I trust in You, Lord, to possess the land. . . . (Ps. 37:8–9, 18)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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True Forgiveness

CONSIDER
True forgiveness evidences a relationship that is desperately dependent on God as we let go of our desires to control and give up our rights to seek satisfaction by our own means. As we forgive, we are demonstrating that Christ is trustworthy and that we can rely on Him to resolve our crisis as we relinquish to Him those who have wronged us. When others do not measure up to our expectations, we must realize that it is not our expectations they must live up to, but God’s. As a result, we venture to release our expectations to God’s guidance, allowing Him to be responsible for our lives and to be evident as our Savior, sustainer, and benefactor.

It is vitally important to realize that only God can forgive sins. The forgiveness we are commanded to give is for our benefit, that we may depend upon Him and walk rightly with Him.


BIBLE TRUTH
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32 KJV).


HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
We are releasing the offending party from our condemnation, and we are removing ourselves from the burden of seeking satisfaction. In actuality, the forgiveness we are to offer should assert, “You don’t owe me anything.” Our job is to take ourselves out of the role of playing God, and allow God to be responsible to see that justice is administered. The all-powerful God will lift the weight of our anger and bitterness when we forgive in a manner that passes the responsibility for retribution to the only One who is capable of righteously administering justice.


PRAYER
I pray to you, O LORD. You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life. Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me. Bring me out of prison so I can thank You. . . . (Ps. 142:5–7)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Am I An Idol?

CONSIDER
We perceive that our job description includes the responsibilities of savior, sustainer, and benefactor—but this is God’s job description and we are not capable of handling His job. When others do not fall in line and follow our leadership so we can be their savior, sustainer, and benefactor, we become angry and bitter. With a long list of debts, we attempt to collect on what we believe is owed to us because we have done such an excellent job at ordering our world.

BIBLE TRUTH
Idolatry is not just an Old Testament sin. Idolatry is evident in modern times, even in America, when we assert control and expect others to acknowledge our authority. Usurping God’s authority results in the violation of the first commandment, which states,
“You must not have any other god but me” (Deut. 5:7 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
We insist on being idolized when we put ourselves in the place of authority as we attempt to control others and ourselves. Even when we demand that someone “owes” us, we are placing ourselves in the position of gods who maintain that justice is our responsibility.

PRAYER
Lord, I commit everything I do to You. I trust You. Please help me. I don’t want to worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. So I will be still in Your presence, Lord, and wait patiently for You to act. . . . (Ps. 37:5, 7)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Playing

CONSIDER
It is a tremendous delight to watch children “play house.” A toddler may make the announcement that she will fix dinner for the family and then proceed to her play kitchen. Pulling a pot from the cabinet she lists the ingredients that will be included: ketchup, macaroni, carrots, cereal, cheese, but no peas! In the mixing bowl she plans to add salad, mustard, salt, and hamburgers, of course. But wait! She still has to fix the chicken nuggets! Since the dipping sauce is missing, she broadcasts that she is going to town as she heads out the door with her purse and Mom’s car keys. Mom has been chuckling while watching the preparations, but when the toddler actually opens the door to the family car and inserts the keys into the ignition, terror grips her heart. Making a mad dash to rescue her child from “play,” Mom reminds the toddler that she is not big enough to drive the car. Of course, a temper tantrum ensues because the toddler has big dinner plans that cannot happen if she does not drive to the store to get dipping sauce for the nuggets! Although Mom may offer alternatives, the toddler will insist, “I want to do it myself!” But the wise mother knows her child is not capable of handling everything she desires.

BIBLE TRUTH

Trust in the Lord and do good.
      Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
      and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
      Trust him, and he will help you.(Ps. 37:3–5 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
As children “play house,” in our feeble attempts we “play God.” We imagine a multitude of strategies to promote our self-interest in order to feel good about ourselves and avoid pain. Usually we are controlling every situation perceivable. During our playtime we may say things such as, “Show me how to control my situation better”; “Give me more ideas on how to please myself”; “Teach me to be a better god.” We stomp our feet and assert, “I want to do it myself without any help!” Our self-sufficient attitude exudes extreme confidence in our own ability and worth. But an all-wise God knows we are not capable of handling everything we desire.

PRAYER
Lord, I cry out to the You; I plead for the Your mercy. I pour out my complaints before You and tell You all my troubles. When I am overwhelmed, You alone know the way I should turn. . . . (Ps. 142:1–3)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Psalms 142 Prayer Pattern

This psalm was chosen to provide a model designed by God showing ways we can approach Him in a desperately dependent fashion. Use Psalms Prayer Patterns to pour out your heart to God while acknowledging your weakness and His strength, as you grow deeper in your relationship with Him.

Psalms Prayer Pattern

I cry out to the LORD;
      I plead for the LORD’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him
      and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
      you alone know the way I should turn.
Wherever I go,
      my enemies have set traps for me.
I look for someone to come and help me,
      but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me;
      no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O LORD.
      I say, “You are my place of refuge.
      You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry,
      for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors,
      for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out of prison
      so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me,
      for you are good to me.”       —Ps. 142 NLT

(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)


We would love for you to share in the COMMENTS the insights you have received on your journey.

Jesus Calling

Hello?... Hello?... Who is this?... Jesus?...

Is it difficult to comprehend that the Creator of the Universe desires a relationship with you? He not only desires a relationship, He desires an intimate relationship. He desires a relationship in which He is your all in all, your everything, the reason you get up in the morning, the motivation of your life, the beat of your heart, your breath. But still we struggle to find Christ relevant to every area of life. We take our desires and ascribe them to His desires, instead of taking His desires and making them our desires.

I was blessed to receive the devotional book, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young, as a Christmas gift. Daily I am reminded that Jesus does indeed call to us and woo us into an intimate relationship with him.

Here is a year’s worth of daily readings from Young’s journals to bring you closer to Christ and move your time with Him from a monologue to a dialogue. Each day is written as if Jesus Himself were speaking to you. Because He is. Do you hear Him calling?

Sarah Young writes in her introduction:

The Bible is, of course, the only inerrant Word of God; my writings must be consistent with that unchanging standard. I have written them from Jesus’ point of view; i.e., the first person singular (I, Me, Mine) always refers to Christ. “You” refers to you, the reader, so the perspective is that of Jesus speaking to you.

Here is Sarah Young’s devotional for May 14th.

I AM A MIGHTY GOD. Nothing is too difficult for Me. I have chosen to use weak ones like you to accomplish My purposes. Your weakness is designed to open you up to My Power. Therefore, do not fear your limitations or measure the day’s demands against your strength. What I require of you is to stay connected to Me, living in trusting dependence on My limitless resources. When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic. Remember that I am with you. Talk with Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation.

I am not a carless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My Presence, trusting in My strength.

Luke 1:37 (NASB)
“For nothing will be impossible with God.”

2 Corinthians 12:9–10 (NIV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young is an excellent resource as you live in desperate dependency and finding Christ relevant to every area of your life.

Do you hear Him calling to you?

The Art of Influence

Why do you want to be a leader? What type of influence do you desire to exert? Influence that makes you look good? Influence that makes you feel good? Influence that benefits the lives of others? Or are you seeking to provide influence that is reflective of God's guidance? On the other side, whose influence do you want to follow?

Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature. He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death – even death on a cross! (Phil. 2:3-8 NET)

Check your motives. Motivation makes all the difference between being a healthy leader or an unhealthy leader, the difference between being a godly leader or an ungodly leader. No influence exerted on another from a self-centered orientation can be healthy or godly, for the intent is always exploitive. Leadership derived from the reservoir of self will only yield a pathological influence on others, ultimately depriving them of intimacy with God as they are depleted by the industry of a self-centered agenda.

Will you be honest enough to examine your heart on this matter? Unfortunately, those who do not challenge their soul’s tendency to usurp God’s will for leadership have a propensity to counterfeit all that is godly for the pursuit of their own purposes. The shackles of the sensual amusements of the world, the flesh, and the devil draw us through the lust of our hearts and the vanity of our lives and bind us in strongholds.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:15-16 ESV)

Leadership that is filled with our plans is devoid of His plan. When we live independently from God we search for a substitute as our validating source. Without a desperate dependency on Him we establish a counterfeit connection with people, positions, and possessions in our pursuit for validation. We extract love from illicit relationships to prove that we are lovable, to establish our significance, and to enable us to feel secure. But in actuality we suffer loss because people, positions, and possessions are incapable of fulfilling us. Ultimately we are left unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and incomplete as the result of pursuing God substitutes. The delusional sense of satisfaction that stimulates and sedates eventually fades and we are left wanting more. In our vain attempts we explore other counterfeits that may promise temporary contentment, but only provide mutually satisfying exploitation and manipulation to empower our identity.

When we look to people, positions, and possessions to empower love, significance, and security in our lives, our counterfeit gods enable us to feel complete and contented for a time. But it is the compulsion of any of us to become reliant on whomever we reverence. And when what we reverence becomes the defining entity in our lives, our god, we live in service to what will ultimately disappoint.

Jesus said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26 NLT). It is a bewildering truth as well as paradoxically necessary, that others be hated that we may love Jesus with a pure and undivided heart, in order that we may have the ability to love, serve, and lead others with a pure and undivided loyalty to God.

The God place of our souls is designed for Jesus. Boundaries should be built around this sacred place to assure that none other but Christ resides there. It should be guarded by our fear of God with our appropriate view of God serving as the sentinel. The highest of all that is lofty should be ascribed to Jesus so that He attracts in full our hearts, minds, and souls, capturing our strength with the truth of His glory and virtue. Then Jesus becomes central because He is preeminent. We come to see Him in truth, as He actually is—Lord, Savior, lover of our souls, champion of our hearts. It is here that each one of us will be vested with the sacred trust given by the Spirit of God to lead in the path to intimacy with Christ and to lead others by the excellence of His good pleasure.

The New Testament: An Expanded Translation by Kenneth Wuest presents The Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20 with its mandates from this perspective:

Now, the eleven disciples went on their way to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had appointed them. And having seen Him, they worshipped Him, prostrating themselves on the ground before Him. But some doubted. And Jesus, having come, spoke to them, saying, There was given to me all authority in heaven and upon earth. Having gone on your way therefore, teach all the nations, making them your pupils, baptizing them into the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to be attending to carefully, holding firmly to, and observing all, whatever things I enjoined upon you. And behold, as for myself, with you I am all the days until the consummation of the age.

Insight Journal
What is your motive for wanting to serve and lead?
Do you yearn for personal significance or God’s glory?

(some excerpts included from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

"Mow the grass."

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Col. 3:12–13 NLT).

This passage encompasses the action required as we allow the Holy Spirit to exhibit His fruit of patience in our lives. Consider if Patrick Perfect persevered by the spirit or counterfeited patience with control which culminated in frustration.

Patrick Perfect decided it was time for his son to learn the manly art of mowing the yard. He had always prided himself in his specialized method of mowing the lawn, and neighbors as well as passers-by commented on what a neat appearance their yard always had. This was an important heritage to pass to his son, Pete.

Patrick was certain that Pete had already gleaned all the important details of mowing the lawn because he was now a teenager and had seen the perfectly manicured lawn for 13 years! So when Patrick left for work, he charged Pete with the honor of mowing the yard. As he left for his day at the office, a glowing sense of pride welled up within him; he knew that Pete would be a shining star in his father’s crown.

But when Patrick returned from work that evening, horror gripped his heart when he pulled into the driveway! The yard looked like a corn maze!! And hay was piled in lumps in inconceivable locations! What happened to the perfectly aligned diagonal rows that had characterized the Perfect home? Why were there sprigs of grass scattered all across the sidewalk? Why could Pete not just mow the grass the way it was supposed to be?

Patrick stormed into the house and yanked the headset from Pete’s ears. With a barrage of explicatives and accusations, Patrick towed his son to the front porch to view his catastrophe that was laid bare for the world to see.

Dad anguished. “How could I have trusted you with such an important task??”

Pete answered, “Dad, I mowed the grass like you asked! What more did you want?”

Are their other times you have seen control take over when God's purposes could have been better accomplished by allowing the Holy Spirit to evidence His fruit of patience? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.


Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit patience or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.

Do You Have Idols?

(excerpts included from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

Every temptation that threatens us is a temptation to live independently from God. Believing God cannot be trusted to govern our lives as we see fit, we must complete ourselves—we must be god in our lives. This idolatrous belief perpetrates arrogance and selfish ambition as we follow our own way with a distorted view of God and reality.

Idolatry is not just an Old Testament sin. Idolatry is evident in modern times, even in America, when we assert control and expect others to acknowledge our authority. Usurping God’s authority results in the violation of the first commandment, which states, “You must not have any other god but me” (Deut. 5:7 NLT). We insist on being idolized when we put ourselves in the place of authority as we attempt to control others and ourselves. Even when we demand that someone “owes” us, we are placing ourselves in the position of gods who maintain that justice is our responsibility.

Herschel H. Hobbs challenges us about other current day idols.

                        Do You Have Idols?

In travels about the world I have seen idols ranging from crudely carved pieces of wood worshiped in the open air to elegant images housed in beautiful temples. The material, workmanship, and location is not what matters, but the concept and purpose represented.

You may say you have never made an idol, neither have you worshiped one. Upon reflection is this really the case? Intellect can become an idol as you sit in judgment upon God, His Word, and His purposes in history. Your body may be an idol if you are more concerned about physical appearance and health than you are about your inner spiritual nature. Business or wealth can come before God and so be your idol. Another person may be your idol as you pattern your life after him/her rather than after God and His will.

Achieving your own goals become your god if they are more important than following God’s plan for your life. Popularity is your idol if you are more interested in being accepted by other people than by God. The mores of society become your idol if you care more about fitting in than you do about living by God’s eternal principles of righteousness.

It is folly to bow before these and other idols of this age and ignore the age-abiding will and way of God.

Warren Wiersbe reminds us, “Gods we invent can never protect us.” But still we worship what cannot save. Wiersbe also states, “what we worship and the way we worship are not incidentals in life; they’re essentials that determine the character of life itself.”

What is determining the character of your life?

Christ Is Relevant to Control Issues

In Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, chapter 1, we presented this scenario that we discussed from Diane’s perspective last week. This week we will look at it from George’s perspective.

Diane felt out of control in her life. When she met George she knew he was the answer to all her problems. He was a very successful businessman with many people in his employment. After twenty years with the same company, he knew exactly how things needed to be done and how to make sure they got done exactly the way they needed to be done. The employees knew George had a solution to every problem and could tell them step by step how to accomplish the necessary task. His excellence in leadership had been awarded frequently.

Since George was so accustomed to running things in an orderly fashion at work, he shared his expertise with Diane all the time. “He says I do a wonderful job preparing the meals he likes, but I need to learn a little more about using spices. Yesterday I received a special lesson on folding the bath towels correctly. If I miss a weed in the flowerbeds, he is sure to show me exactly where it is. He continuously reminds me that if I just follow his instructions everything will run smoothly. I just don’t know what I would do without him, but there are some times when I would sure like to find out.” Diane did not have the solution for the frustration, anger, turmoil, and rejection she felt.

In the Insight Journal we suggested that you consider how each person in the examples of chapter 1 used

people to search for satisfaction,
positions to seek fulfillment, and
possessions to produce significance.

In our evaluation of George we can note that he looked to his employees and wife, as well as his positions as successful businessman and husband, to empower his life. George ordered his world, including the people around him, to find satisfaction, fulfillment, and significance.

George operated with a philosophy that placed himself in the God-Place of everyone under his sphere of influence. Ironically, this placed everyone under his sphere of influence in his God-Place. If George could build people, make them efficient, and strengthen them, then George would have proof of his own significance. There would be further validation when all would arise and praise him with accolades of his personal greatness. While others thought they needed George as their mighty savior, he needed them to elevate him to that place. If George could get others to ascribe greatness to him, then he could be empowered to be god.

The appropriation of the first commandment, “You must not have any other god but me,” can produce the trauma of truth to bring George to brokenness and repentance. Submission and obedience are evidenced through a death to self that can continually motivate George in Christ’s redemptive process.

What empowers your life?

Christ Is Relevant to Forgiveness

relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)

For approximately forty years Kirk could recall the night his father left home. Mama and his three siblings cowered behind an old car in the yard while, in a drunken tirade, their father threatened to kill them. After all the years of estrangement, Kirk and Melanie headed to an address where they were told John Lewis could be found.

We had just completed a Desperate Dependency conference at a church in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, where Melanie once again elaborated on the topic of Moving from Anger to Forgiveness. Kirk believed he had forgiven his dad and was allowing God to be responsible for his father. Resolved that his father would never meet his paternal needs, Kirk abandoned his desire for an earthly father and found a relationship with a heavenly father instead. Kirk was not seeking his dad for any resolution or for anything he needed from him.

Resolved that he would never see his father again, Kirk imagined seeing his dad in a coffin. But now a disruptive force entered the scene as we were faced with becoming reacquainted with John Lewis. Tempted to reclaim the debt that was owed, there had never been a time when the principles of forgiveness were so profoundly clear. “My dad owes me nothing. Instead he owes God for everything.” There was no debt to collect.

Kirk was freed from having to interact with the debt. The awkwardness of the looming encounter dissipated into peace. The anxiousness of “What will I do with him now?” vanished into an understanding of God’s sovereign plan that was unfolding. We only needed to face the opportunity in truth depending upon Christ to give guidance that would navigate this relationship.

How would the debt be satisfied?

The many years of alcoholism and sinful living had taken their toll. Fourteen years ago John encountered a near death experience that resulted in a change from alcoholism to sobriety, from being a chain smoker to being tobacco free. For the first time Melanie was introduced to her father-in-law, by a son that John did not recognize. As we sat for hours, John repeatedly expressed his amazement that we had come to find him. But he claimed that he had imagined that it would happen this way one day. The conversation was strained by the lost years, but casual reminiscence filled the silence.

John recognized himself as a sinful man, and claims that he has asked God to forgive him 1000 times. With confident assurance, he believes that Jesus died for his sins, has forgiven him, and that he will one day be with Christ in eternity. Dad, with a quiver in his voice, proclaimed, “I know that that Jesus died for my sins and I believe with all my heart that He arose from the dead. I can’t prove it but I sure do believe it.”

Resigning the God Job

(excerpt from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

It is a tremendous delight to watch children “play house.” A toddler may make the announcement that she will fix dinner for the family and then proceed to her play kitchen. Pulling a pot from the cabinet she lists the ingredients that will be included: ketchup, macaroni, carrots, cereal, cheese, but no peas! In the mixing bowl she plans to add salad, mustard, salt, and hamburgers, of course. But wait! She still has to fix the chicken nuggets! Since the dipping sauce is missing, she broadcasts that she is going to town as she heads out the door with her purse and Mom’s car keys. Mom has been chuckling while watching the preparations, but when the toddler actually opens the door to the family car and inserts the keys into the ignition, terror grips her heart. Making a mad dash to rescue her child from “play,” Mom reminds the toddler that she is not big enough to drive the car. Of course, a temper tantrum ensues because the toddler has big dinner plans that cannot happen if she does not drive to the store to get dipping sauce for the nuggets! Although Mom may offer alternatives, the toddler will insist, “I want to do it myself!” But the wise mother knows her child is not capable of handling everything she desires.

As children “play house,” in our feeble attempts we “play God.” We imagine a multitude of strategies to promote our self-interest in order to feel good about ourselves and avoid pain. Usually we are controlling every situation perceivable. During our playtime we may say things such as, “Show me how to control my situation better”; “Give me more ideas on how to please myself”; “Teach me to be a better god.” We stomp our feet and assert, “I want to do it myself without any help!” Our self-sufficient attitude exudes extreme confidence in our own ability and worth. But an all-wise God knows we are not capable of handling everything we desire.

We perceive that our job description includes the responsibilities of savior, sustainer, and benefactor—but this is God’s job description and we are not capable of handling His job. When others do not fall in line and follow our leadership so we can be their savior, sustainer, and benefactor, we become angry and bitter. With a long list of debts, we attempt to collect on what we believe is owed to us because we have done such an excellent job at ordering our world.

Idolatry is not just an Old Testament sin. Idolatry is evident in modern times, even in America, when we assert control and expect others to acknowledge our authority. Usurping God’s authority results in the violation of the first commandment, which states, “You must not have any other god but me” (Deut. 5:7 NLT). We insist on being idolized when we put ourselves in the place of authority as we attempt to control others and ourselves. Even when we demand that someone “owes” us, we are placing ourselves in the position of gods who maintain that justice is our responsibility.

True forgiveness evidences a relationship that is desperately dependent on God as we let go of our desires to control and give up our rights to seek satisfaction by our own means. As we forgive, we are demonstrating that Christ is trustworthy and that we can rely on Him to resolve our crisis as we relinquish to Him those who have wronged us. When others do not measure up to our expectations, we must realize that it is not our expectations they must live up to, but God’s. As a result, we venture to release our expectations to God’s guidance, allowing Him to be responsible for our lives and to be evident as our Savior, sustainer, and benefactor.

It is vitally important to realize that only God can forgive sins. The forgiveness we are commanded to give is for our benefit, that we may depend upon Him and walk rightly with Him. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32 KJV). We are releasing the offending party from our condemnation, and we are removing ourselves from the burden of seeking satisfaction. In actuality, the forgiveness we are to offer should assert, “You don’t owe me anything.” Our job is to take ourselves out of the role of playing God, and allow God to be responsible to see that justice is administered. The all-powerful God will lift the weight of our anger and bitterness when we forgive in a manner that passes the responsibility for retribution to the only One who is capable of righteously administering justice.

Will you allow the divine collection agency, God, to be responsible for collecting your debts?