Evidence of Forgiveness

CONSIDER
Ultimately all sin is an offense against God. Without forgiveness there is no redemption. Forgiveness is the evidence of a redeemed soul.

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
      I have done what is evil in your sight. (Ps. 51:4 NLT)

BIBLE TRUTH

My soul waits in silence for God only;
From Him is my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken. (Ps. 62:1–2 NASB)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The debt that is owed as the result of an injustice is ultimately owed to Him. As we lead desperately dependent lives we will allow all debts to be His responsibility. Only God is capable of resolving our crisis.

PRAYER
God, let all that I am wait quietly before You, for my hope is in You. You alone are my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from You alone. You are my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. So I will only fear You, LORD, and serve You in truth with all my heart; for I consider what great things You have done for me. . . . (Ps. 62:5–7, 1 Sam. 12:24)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Terms of Forgiveness

CONSIDER
Millions of people have repeated the Lord’s Prayer, which states, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt. 6:12 NLT). Since we only mechanically quote the passage, we neglect to recognize the conditions and terms of forgiveness. Do we really want God to forgive us in the same way we are forgiving others? In the verses immediately following the Lord’s Prayer Jesus elaborates further.

BIBLE TRUTH
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14–15 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
In the same way you have been forgiven of your outstanding debts that cannot be satisfied except through Christ’s death, He also stands ready to forgive all who come to Him for forgiveness. We are much more eager to accept this forgiveness for ourselves than we are to allow the same justice to be meted out on those who have offended us.

PRAYER
Our Father in heaven, may Your name be kept holy. May Your Kingdom come soon. May Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. . . . (Matt. 6:9–13 NLT)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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The Divine Collection Agency

CONSIDER
Often when Jesus taught about forgiveness He used a financial illustration to convey the concept. As with businesses, complications arise when bad debts remain in our lives, so accounts must be settled appropriately. There are occasions when there is no way a debt can be satisfied because the offense is so great. In those times it is essential to turn the account over to our divine collection agency. We must determine that we will no longer exert any energy in the collection of the debt, but allow God to be responsible for the account. With open hands we can release the strongholds that have bound us to our anger and bitterness. The only One who is truly capable of collecting the debt will see to it that justice is served.

BIBLE TRUTH
“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9 NLT).

“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross” (Col. 2:14 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Often we are reluctant to allow God to handle our accounts because we are not convinced we will be satisfied with the outcome. How will God settle the account? There are two methods God will use to reconcile outstanding debts. Either the offender will pay in hell for all eternity, or Christ’s death will cover the penalty.

PRAYER
Lord, I need Your help to stop being angry! Please help me turn from my rage! I do not want to lose my temper— it only leads to harm. I know that day by day You take care of the innocent, and we will receive an inheritance that lasts forever. I trust that You will destroy the wicked, and I trust in You, Lord, to possess the land. . . . (Ps. 37:8–9, 18)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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True Forgiveness

CONSIDER
True forgiveness evidences a relationship that is desperately dependent on God as we let go of our desires to control and give up our rights to seek satisfaction by our own means. As we forgive, we are demonstrating that Christ is trustworthy and that we can rely on Him to resolve our crisis as we relinquish to Him those who have wronged us. When others do not measure up to our expectations, we must realize that it is not our expectations they must live up to, but God’s. As a result, we venture to release our expectations to God’s guidance, allowing Him to be responsible for our lives and to be evident as our Savior, sustainer, and benefactor.

It is vitally important to realize that only God can forgive sins. The forgiveness we are commanded to give is for our benefit, that we may depend upon Him and walk rightly with Him.


BIBLE TRUTH
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32 KJV).


HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
We are releasing the offending party from our condemnation, and we are removing ourselves from the burden of seeking satisfaction. In actuality, the forgiveness we are to offer should assert, “You don’t owe me anything.” Our job is to take ourselves out of the role of playing God, and allow God to be responsible to see that justice is administered. The all-powerful God will lift the weight of our anger and bitterness when we forgive in a manner that passes the responsibility for retribution to the only One who is capable of righteously administering justice.


PRAYER
I pray to you, O LORD. You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life. Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me. Bring me out of prison so I can thank You. . . . (Ps. 142:5–7)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Am I An Idol?

CONSIDER
We perceive that our job description includes the responsibilities of savior, sustainer, and benefactor—but this is God’s job description and we are not capable of handling His job. When others do not fall in line and follow our leadership so we can be their savior, sustainer, and benefactor, we become angry and bitter. With a long list of debts, we attempt to collect on what we believe is owed to us because we have done such an excellent job at ordering our world.

BIBLE TRUTH
Idolatry is not just an Old Testament sin. Idolatry is evident in modern times, even in America, when we assert control and expect others to acknowledge our authority. Usurping God’s authority results in the violation of the first commandment, which states,
“You must not have any other god but me” (Deut. 5:7 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
We insist on being idolized when we put ourselves in the place of authority as we attempt to control others and ourselves. Even when we demand that someone “owes” us, we are placing ourselves in the position of gods who maintain that justice is our responsibility.

PRAYER
Lord, I commit everything I do to You. I trust You. Please help me. I don’t want to worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. So I will be still in Your presence, Lord, and wait patiently for You to act. . . . (Ps. 37:5, 7)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Pearls and Pigs

CONSIDER
Many people are surprised to learn that Jesus taught there are times we are to “treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector" (Matt. 18:17). In those days, if a corrupt tax collector saw you on the street and said you owed $10,000 in taxes, you would be required to pay or you would be put in jail. So the corrupt tax collectors were avoided with extreme measures. It would not be uncommon for people to walk on the other side of the street with eyes down in order to circumvent any contact. Can you believe Jesus would actually promote such conduct?

BIBLE TRUTH
“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you” (Matt. 7:6 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Yes, there are actually times when we should make wide circles to steer clear of people. But as we are addressing these situations that cause anger to us and to God, we ultimately must grieve the truth and forgive the debt. God is the final authority, and it is His job to see that the appropriate judgment is satisfied. We must yield to His way and give up our will in all areas of our lives.

PRAYER
God, I humble myself before You. Enable me to resist the devil, so he will flee from me. I desire to come close to You, so You will come close to me. I wash my hands, because I know I am a sinner; please purify my heart, for my loyalty is divided between You and the world. There are tears for what I have done. I am filled with sorrow and deep grief. I am filled with sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. I humble myself before You. Please lift me up in honor. . . . (James 4:7–10)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Should Christians Be Treated Differently?

CONSIDER
“Is the person a Christian?” This criterion does make a difference because God offers a specific course of action for guilty Christians. If the wrongdoer is not a Christian, we must grieve and allow God to mete out His justice as we forgive the debt. Remember, grieving is about adjusting our lives based on the truth. In regard to the unsaved, we must realize the truth that unsaved individuals are unable to conduct themselves with the love, grace, and mercy of a forgiven soul. They cannot be held to the same standards God expects of the saved. Often we jump to confrontation and boundary setting without grieving the truth that a person cannot evidence godliness and goodness apart from the grace of Christ. Rather than being angry with the sinner, we must grieve for his or her soul.


BIBLE TRUTH

“It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, ‘You must remove the evil person from among you.’”
(1 Cor. 5:12–13 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”(Matt. 18:15–17 NLT)

PRAYER
Lord, You are righteous in everything You do; You are filled with kindness. Lord, I know You are close to all who call on You, yes, to all who call on You in truth. You grant the desires of those who fear You; You hear my cries for help and rescues me. Lord, You protect all those who love You, but You destroy the wicked. . . . (Ps. 145:17–20)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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Would God Be Angry?

CONSIDER
If we suspect that an unmet expectation has resulted in anger concerning an issue that God would also be angry about, we must first ask, “Is there biblical proof?” Many times we assume God would be angry about a particular situation, but we cannot find the scriptural backing for our assertion. So often we seek for biblical proof to justify our own solution to accomplish the end result we desire. We must truly seek His solutions. Seeking Him in desperate dependency will unveil His plan.

BIBLE TRUTH

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Matt. 7:3–5 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
With biblical proof evident, our next decision to consider is this: “Can I expose and confront the sin?” We can never be ready to confront what is in others’ lives until we are content in Christ with the way things are in our lives. Otherwise we may be trying to control people and situations to make our lives better instead of ministering Christ to others.

PRAYER
Jesus, I am going to keep on asking for Your answers, so that I may receive Your answers. I want to keep on seeking Your solutions, so I may find Your solutions. I will keep on knocking, so the door will be opened. You promise that everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. . . . (Matt. 7:7–8)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Healthy Grief

CONSIDER
As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, there are two avenues we may take. We may fall into toxic grief, or we may choose healthy grief. Healthy grief views loss from the perspective of God’s truths. A previously toxic scenario can result in praise and earnest expectation: “I lost my job because I stood for what is right; God promises He will supply my every need (Phil. 4:19); God declares He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5); He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11); I can trust God (Ps. 28:7).”

BIBLE TRUTH

The LORD is my strength and shield.
      I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
      I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. (Ps. 28:7 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Grief issues span the spectrum of what might be considered insignificant to some through extreme crisis situations. It is the essence of grief to coexist with what we cannot control, and it is essential that we are content in Christ while coexisting with what we can’t control. The intensity of the grief often reveals the value an individual has placed on a person, position, or possession. In the resolution of grief it is imperative to recognize Christ as relevant to every situation we encounter. “How does God expect me to adjust my life based on this loss and remembering His love, care, and trustworthiness?”

PRAYER
Lord, You know the plans You have for me. I choose to trust You that they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope. . . . (Jer. 29:11 NLT)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

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Toxic Grief

CONSIDER
Perhaps you must accept that your expectation will not be met. Grief may result. Grieving is the process of adjusting your life because something is lost. As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, we may fall into toxic grief. Toxic grief results when we adjust our lives based on lies. Our choices are poisoned by the deception we accept as truth.

BIBLE TRUTH

“Blessed are you who hunger now,
      for you will be satisfied.
      Blessed are you who weep now,
      for you will laugh.” (Luke 6:21 NIV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The downward spiral of toxic grief may resemble this scenario: “I lost my job; I have no way to support my family; I am worthless; we won’t have any food; our house will go into foreclosure; we will be on the streets at Christmastime; my life is over.”

PRAYER
God, I know you do not want me to be sad like other people who have no hope. I know You bless those who mourn. Please comfort me. . . . (1 Thess. 4:13, Matt. 5:4)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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Sacrifice Expectations

CONSIDER
Since you are not God, you do not have a right to have all your expectations met. Can you accept that? Unfortunately, this is the point where we often get stuck. We maintain our anger and live in bitterness for hours, days, months, and even years because our expectation was not realized. The only recourse to resolve the anger and bitterness is to ask for forgiveness and forgive the debt.

BIBLE TRUTH

The Lord always keeps his promises;
      he is gracious in all he does.
The Lord helps the fallen
      and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
The eyes of all look to you in hope;
      you give them their food as they need it.
When you open your hand,
      you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in everything he does;
      he is filled with kindness. (Ps. 145:13–17 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The International Children’s Bible translates Psalm 4:4–5, “When you are angry, do not sin. Think about these things quietly as you go to bed. Do what is right as a sacrifice to the Lord. And trust the Lord.” Too often I find it is not easy to think about the things I am angry about quietly as I go to bed. In my muttering and sputtering I am reminded that I must do what is right. Doing what is right requires me to offer up everything to the Lord as a sacrifice. It cannot be mine any longer. I must give all my rights and expectations to Him. How in the world can I do that? I must trust the Lord. At the end of the day all outcomes are His responsibility. Can I trust Him? Will you trust Him?

PRAYER
Lord, I do not want to sin when I am angry. Instead I want to think about these things quietly as I go to bed. Please help me to do what is right as a sacrifice to You. I trust You, Lord. . . . (Ps. 4:4–5)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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You Owe Me

CONSIDER
Apart from God we have no rights. Apart from His way we can have no peace. In our own strength, life will never be what we want. We are incapable without Him. Therefore with repentant hearts, we must submit ourselves to His plan and allow Him to direct every path.

BIBLE TRUTH

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Prov. 3:5–6 NKJV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
As a result of believing someone has not measured up to our expectations, we are convinced that they owe us something. This is where our anger can become sinful, because God is the only one who has a right to anything. They do not owe us; they owe God. If we are merely expecting to have our selfish ambitions satisfied, we are sinful. With repentant hearts we must say, “I am sorry I expected you to __________. Will you please forgive me for being unrealistic and inappropriate in my expectation?”

PRAYER
Lord, You are merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are good to everyone. You shower compassion on all Your creation. All of your works will thank You, Lord and Your faithful followers will praise You. I thank You and I praise You. . . . (Ps. 145:8–10)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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Stuck in the Muck

CONSIDER
Too often we are stuck in our anger and ruminate on the offenses until they fester in our souls. As we consider the impact on an individual, we can recognize there is a transgression progression that begins with unmet expectations resulting in frustration, hurt, and anger. A transgression that results in anger may move to resentment and progress to bitterness. Yielding to the temptation, we shift to demanding satisfaction and seeking revenge. Because we cannot achieve satisfaction, the situation may degenerate into hatred.

BIBLE TRUTH

But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. (1 John 2:11 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Anger is a God-given emotion to address unmet expectations. When anger begins to arise we must ask, “What did I expect?” Often just identifying our expectations can assist in determining how to proceed. Was it a personal expectation, or was it God’s expectation? Most of the time, we must admit that personal expectations arouse our anger. We wanted our way, and events did not occur as we expected. Our self-centered sense of entitlement convinces us we must have everything we want.

Then we must ask, “Was it realistic and appropriate to expect?” When we conclude that our expectation has not been realistic or appropriate, then we must adjust our expectations. With the realization that I have fallen short in my expectations, I must ask for forgiveness and forgive the debt.


PRAYER
Jesus, I know that You say, “Love your enemies!” I know that You say, “Pray for those who persecute you!” I desire to act like a true child of my Father in heaven in this way. You give Your sunlight to both the evil and the good. You send rain on the just and the unjust alike. If I love only those who love me, what reward is there for that? Anybody can do that. If I am kind only to my friends, how am I different from anyone else? Anybody can do that. . . . (Matt. 5:44–47)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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The Conundrum of Anger

CONSIDER
It seems apparent that there are times we can be angry and sinful, but there can also be times we can be angry without being sinful. So what is the difference?

BIBLE TRUTH

"The Lord your God, who lives among you, is a jealous God. His anger will flare up against you, and he will wipe you from the face of the earth." (Deut. 6:15 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
God can be jealous because He has no rival! In like fashion, God can be angry and not sinful because He is the only one who has a right to expect anything! Since He is God, He created the world and all that is in it. He established the order of all that is. Therefore, He knows exactly what to expect and has every right to expect things to go according to His blueprint.

Anger is a God-given emotion designed to assist in addressing issues. We get angry as the result of unmet expectations. Something we expected to happen did not occur. Our anger is not sinful when we expect the same things God expects. Sin enters the scenario when we expect our self-centered expectations to be met. As Creator and Sustainer, God is justified in having His expectations met. However, because I am not God, I have no right to demand that my expectations be fulfilled. When we assert that our way must be followed, we are usurping God and elevating ourselves above His position. This idolatry is sin, and the anger that results from expecting to get our own way is also sin.


PRAYER
God, Sometimes it is difficult, but I do not want to become conceited or provoke others. Help me not to be jealous of others either. . . . (Gal. 5:26)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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My Way or His Will?

CONSIDER
Unfortunately, all too often we lose sight of the treasures God has in store for us, and we continue to search for trinkets we perceive to be valuable. While we work against what God wants to do in our lives, we continue to assert our way over His will. Gratefully, God installed a warning system that can be used to determine when things are not going as expected. Anger is evidenced when either God’s expectations are being violated or when my personal expectations are being violated.

BIBLE TRUTH

In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Gen. 4:3–7 ESV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Psalm 4:4 sheds some more light on the topic: “Don’t sin by letting anger control you.” This passage is reiterated in the New Testament: “In your anger do not sin” (Eph. 4:26 NIV). Verse 27 emphasizes the reason why we should not let anger control us: “for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Since I really do not want the devil to have a foothold in my life, I must be diligently cautious to make sure God is in control of my anger, not I.

PRAYER
Dear God, I know that now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. I don’t want to lie to anyone. I desire to live a life that has stripped off my old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Please enable me and encourage me to put on my new nature so I may be renewed as I learn to know my Creator and become like You. . . . (Col. 3:8–10)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

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