Pearls and Pigs

CONSIDER
Many people are surprised to learn that Jesus taught there are times we are to “treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector" (Matt. 18:17). In those days, if a corrupt tax collector saw you on the street and said you owed $10,000 in taxes, you would be required to pay or you would be put in jail. So the corrupt tax collectors were avoided with extreme measures. It would not be uncommon for people to walk on the other side of the street with eyes down in order to circumvent any contact. Can you believe Jesus would actually promote such conduct?

BIBLE TRUTH
“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you” (Matt. 7:6 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Yes, there are actually times when we should make wide circles to steer clear of people. But as we are addressing these situations that cause anger to us and to God, we ultimately must grieve the truth and forgive the debt. God is the final authority, and it is His job to see that the appropriate judgment is satisfied. We must yield to His way and give up our will in all areas of our lives.

PRAYER
God, I humble myself before You. Enable me to resist the devil, so he will flee from me. I desire to come close to You, so You will come close to me. I wash my hands, because I know I am a sinner; please purify my heart, for my loyalty is divided between You and the world. There are tears for what I have done. I am filled with sorrow and deep grief. I am filled with sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. I humble myself before You. Please lift me up in honor. . . . (James 4:7–10)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Should Christians Be Treated Differently?

CONSIDER
“Is the person a Christian?” This criterion does make a difference because God offers a specific course of action for guilty Christians. If the wrongdoer is not a Christian, we must grieve and allow God to mete out His justice as we forgive the debt. Remember, grieving is about adjusting our lives based on the truth. In regard to the unsaved, we must realize the truth that unsaved individuals are unable to conduct themselves with the love, grace, and mercy of a forgiven soul. They cannot be held to the same standards God expects of the saved. Often we jump to confrontation and boundary setting without grieving the truth that a person cannot evidence godliness and goodness apart from the grace of Christ. Rather than being angry with the sinner, we must grieve for his or her soul.


BIBLE TRUTH

“It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, ‘You must remove the evil person from among you.’”
(1 Cor. 5:12–13 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”(Matt. 18:15–17 NLT)

PRAYER
Lord, You are righteous in everything You do; You are filled with kindness. Lord, I know You are close to all who call on You, yes, to all who call on You in truth. You grant the desires of those who fear You; You hear my cries for help and rescues me. Lord, You protect all those who love You, but You destroy the wicked. . . . (Ps. 145:17–20)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Would God Be Angry?

CONSIDER
If we suspect that an unmet expectation has resulted in anger concerning an issue that God would also be angry about, we must first ask, “Is there biblical proof?” Many times we assume God would be angry about a particular situation, but we cannot find the scriptural backing for our assertion. So often we seek for biblical proof to justify our own solution to accomplish the end result we desire. We must truly seek His solutions. Seeking Him in desperate dependency will unveil His plan.

BIBLE TRUTH

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Matt. 7:3–5 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
With biblical proof evident, our next decision to consider is this: “Can I expose and confront the sin?” We can never be ready to confront what is in others’ lives until we are content in Christ with the way things are in our lives. Otherwise we may be trying to control people and situations to make our lives better instead of ministering Christ to others.

PRAYER
Jesus, I am going to keep on asking for Your answers, so that I may receive Your answers. I want to keep on seeking Your solutions, so I may find Your solutions. I will keep on knocking, so the door will be opened. You promise that everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. . . . (Matt. 7:7–8)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Healthy Grief

CONSIDER
As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, there are two avenues we may take. We may fall into toxic grief, or we may choose healthy grief. Healthy grief views loss from the perspective of God’s truths. A previously toxic scenario can result in praise and earnest expectation: “I lost my job because I stood for what is right; God promises He will supply my every need (Phil. 4:19); God declares He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5); He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11); I can trust God (Ps. 28:7).”

BIBLE TRUTH

The LORD is my strength and shield.
      I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
      I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. (Ps. 28:7 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Grief issues span the spectrum of what might be considered insignificant to some through extreme crisis situations. It is the essence of grief to coexist with what we cannot control, and it is essential that we are content in Christ while coexisting with what we can’t control. The intensity of the grief often reveals the value an individual has placed on a person, position, or possession. In the resolution of grief it is imperative to recognize Christ as relevant to every situation we encounter. “How does God expect me to adjust my life based on this loss and remembering His love, care, and trustworthiness?”

PRAYER
Lord, You know the plans You have for me. I choose to trust You that they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope. . . . (Jer. 29:11 NLT)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Toxic Grief

CONSIDER
Perhaps you must accept that your expectation will not be met. Grief may result. Grieving is the process of adjusting your life because something is lost. As we adjust and reorganize our lives based on a loss, we may fall into toxic grief. Toxic grief results when we adjust our lives based on lies. Our choices are poisoned by the deception we accept as truth.

BIBLE TRUTH

“Blessed are you who hunger now,
      for you will be satisfied.
      Blessed are you who weep now,
      for you will laugh.” (Luke 6:21 NIV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The downward spiral of toxic grief may resemble this scenario: “I lost my job; I have no way to support my family; I am worthless; we won’t have any food; our house will go into foreclosure; we will be on the streets at Christmastime; my life is over.”

PRAYER
God, I know you do not want me to be sad like other people who have no hope. I know You bless those who mourn. Please comfort me. . . . (1 Thess. 4:13, Matt. 5:4)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Sacrifice Expectations

CONSIDER
Since you are not God, you do not have a right to have all your expectations met. Can you accept that? Unfortunately, this is the point where we often get stuck. We maintain our anger and live in bitterness for hours, days, months, and even years because our expectation was not realized. The only recourse to resolve the anger and bitterness is to ask for forgiveness and forgive the debt.

BIBLE TRUTH

The Lord always keeps his promises;
      he is gracious in all he does.
The Lord helps the fallen
      and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
The eyes of all look to you in hope;
      you give them their food as they need it.
When you open your hand,
      you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in everything he does;
      he is filled with kindness. (Ps. 145:13–17 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
The International Children’s Bible translates Psalm 4:4–5, “When you are angry, do not sin. Think about these things quietly as you go to bed. Do what is right as a sacrifice to the Lord. And trust the Lord.” Too often I find it is not easy to think about the things I am angry about quietly as I go to bed. In my muttering and sputtering I am reminded that I must do what is right. Doing what is right requires me to offer up everything to the Lord as a sacrifice. It cannot be mine any longer. I must give all my rights and expectations to Him. How in the world can I do that? I must trust the Lord. At the end of the day all outcomes are His responsibility. Can I trust Him? Will you trust Him?

PRAYER
Lord, I do not want to sin when I am angry. Instead I want to think about these things quietly as I go to bed. Please help me to do what is right as a sacrifice to You. I trust You, Lord. . . . (Ps. 4:4–5)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

You Owe Me

CONSIDER
Apart from God we have no rights. Apart from His way we can have no peace. In our own strength, life will never be what we want. We are incapable without Him. Therefore with repentant hearts, we must submit ourselves to His plan and allow Him to direct every path.

BIBLE TRUTH

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Prov. 3:5–6 NKJV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
As a result of believing someone has not measured up to our expectations, we are convinced that they owe us something. This is where our anger can become sinful, because God is the only one who has a right to anything. They do not owe us; they owe God. If we are merely expecting to have our selfish ambitions satisfied, we are sinful. With repentant hearts we must say, “I am sorry I expected you to __________. Will you please forgive me for being unrealistic and inappropriate in my expectation?”

PRAYER
Lord, You are merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are good to everyone. You shower compassion on all Your creation. All of your works will thank You, Lord and Your faithful followers will praise You. I thank You and I praise You. . . . (Ps. 145:8–10)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

Stuck in the Muck

CONSIDER
Too often we are stuck in our anger and ruminate on the offenses until they fester in our souls. As we consider the impact on an individual, we can recognize there is a transgression progression that begins with unmet expectations resulting in frustration, hurt, and anger. A transgression that results in anger may move to resentment and progress to bitterness. Yielding to the temptation, we shift to demanding satisfaction and seeking revenge. Because we cannot achieve satisfaction, the situation may degenerate into hatred.

BIBLE TRUTH

But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. (1 John 2:11 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Anger is a God-given emotion to address unmet expectations. When anger begins to arise we must ask, “What did I expect?” Often just identifying our expectations can assist in determining how to proceed. Was it a personal expectation, or was it God’s expectation? Most of the time, we must admit that personal expectations arouse our anger. We wanted our way, and events did not occur as we expected. Our self-centered sense of entitlement convinces us we must have everything we want.

Then we must ask, “Was it realistic and appropriate to expect?” When we conclude that our expectation has not been realistic or appropriate, then we must adjust our expectations. With the realization that I have fallen short in my expectations, I must ask for forgiveness and forgive the debt.


PRAYER
Jesus, I know that You say, “Love your enemies!” I know that You say, “Pray for those who persecute you!” I desire to act like a true child of my Father in heaven in this way. You give Your sunlight to both the evil and the good. You send rain on the just and the unjust alike. If I love only those who love me, what reward is there for that? Anybody can do that. If I am kind only to my friends, how am I different from anyone else? Anybody can do that. . . . (Matt. 5:44–47)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

The Conundrum of Anger

CONSIDER
It seems apparent that there are times we can be angry and sinful, but there can also be times we can be angry without being sinful. So what is the difference?

BIBLE TRUTH

"The Lord your God, who lives among you, is a jealous God. His anger will flare up against you, and he will wipe you from the face of the earth." (Deut. 6:15 NLT)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
God can be jealous because He has no rival! In like fashion, God can be angry and not sinful because He is the only one who has a right to expect anything! Since He is God, He created the world and all that is in it. He established the order of all that is. Therefore, He knows exactly what to expect and has every right to expect things to go according to His blueprint.

Anger is a God-given emotion designed to assist in addressing issues. We get angry as the result of unmet expectations. Something we expected to happen did not occur. Our anger is not sinful when we expect the same things God expects. Sin enters the scenario when we expect our self-centered expectations to be met. As Creator and Sustainer, God is justified in having His expectations met. However, because I am not God, I have no right to demand that my expectations be fulfilled. When we assert that our way must be followed, we are usurping God and elevating ourselves above His position. This idolatry is sin, and the anger that results from expecting to get our own way is also sin.


PRAYER
God, Sometimes it is difficult, but I do not want to become conceited or provoke others. Help me not to be jealous of others either. . . . (Gal. 5:26)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

My Way or His Will?

CONSIDER
Unfortunately, all too often we lose sight of the treasures God has in store for us, and we continue to search for trinkets we perceive to be valuable. While we work against what God wants to do in our lives, we continue to assert our way over His will. Gratefully, God installed a warning system that can be used to determine when things are not going as expected. Anger is evidenced when either God’s expectations are being violated or when my personal expectations are being violated.

BIBLE TRUTH

In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Gen. 4:3–7 ESV)

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Psalm 4:4 sheds some more light on the topic: “Don’t sin by letting anger control you.” This passage is reiterated in the New Testament: “In your anger do not sin” (Eph. 4:26 NIV). Verse 27 emphasizes the reason why we should not let anger control us: “for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Since I really do not want the devil to have a foothold in my life, I must be diligently cautious to make sure God is in control of my anger, not I.

PRAYER
Dear God, I know that now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. I don’t want to lie to anyone. I desire to live a life that has stripped off my old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Please enable me and encourage me to put on my new nature so I may be renewed as I learn to know my Creator and become like You. . . . (Col. 3:8–10)



(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

If you would like to receive our blog posts via email, simply submit your email address in the box on the left. They will make you verify your request by jumping through a few hoops, but that is for your safety!

We would love for you to POST A COMMENT about the insights you have received on your journey toward desperate dependency.

I Want What I Want

The familiar story of Jonah illustrates the approaches employed to address the deeper problem of the nature of sin. God was seeking to save a people while salvaging a prophet. Resistance and self-sufficiency jumped to the forefront as fear, evidenced by anger, gripped Jonah’s heart at the thought that God would not judge the wicked Ninevites. Jonah’s strategy to resolve the crisis was to ensure that God would destroy the people of Nineveh. Believing he could thwart God’s plan by refusing to participate, Jonah asserted his willfulness to create his own redemptive process. Unwilling to trust God, Jonah allowed his bitterness to fester and employed his own creative solutions. The story ends with God in the process of salvaging Jonah by showing him he has no ability to independently restore control to his life, because God’s plan will prevail.

BIBLE TRUTH
“Those who worship false gods
      turn their backs on all God’s mercies" (Jonah 2:8 NLT).

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ME?
Our exhausted supply of resources leaves us alienated. Loneliness invades as our thwarted efforts become evident. The emptiness of our hearts tempts us to continue the vicious cycle of seeking God-substitutes to fill the void. With continued resolve we contrive another plan of employing people, positions, and possessions for our power to live. Eventually the futility of the endeavor becomes evident through social rejection, compromised health, and a lack of personal energy to pursue the pathological dream. Alienated souls now stand stranded beside the road they thought would take them to the place of completion.
“See, they are all foolish, worthless things.
      All your idols are as empty as the wind” (Isa. 41:29 NLT).

PRAYER
LORD, I am crying out to you in my great trouble. I know you will hear and answer me. I am sinking beneath the waves and the waters are closing over me. As my life is slipping away, I am reminded of you, for my salvation comes from you alone. Therefore, I will offer sacrifices to you with the songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. (Jonah 2:1–9)


(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)


We would love for you to share in the COMMENTS the insights you have received on your journey.

Psalms 145 Prayer Pattern

This psalm was chosen to provide a model designed by God showing ways we can approach Him in a desperately dependent fashion. Use Psalms Prayer Patterns to pour out your heart to God while acknowledging your weakness and His strength, as you grow deeper in your relationship with Him.

Psalms Prayer Pattern

I will exalt you, my God and King,
     and praise your name forever and ever.
I will praise you every day;
     yes, I will praise you forever.
Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!
     No one can measure his greatness.

Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;
     let them proclaim your power.
I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor
     and your wonderful miracles.
Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue;
     I will proclaim your greatness.
Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness;
     they will sing with joy about your righteousness.

The LORD is merciful and compassionate,
     slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
The LORD is good to everyone.
     He showers compassion on all his creation.
All of your works will thank you, LORD
     and your faithful followers will praise you.
They will speak of the glory of your kingdom;
     they will give examples of your power.
They will tell about your mighty deeds
     and about the majesty and glory of your reign.
For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom.
     You rule throughout all generations.
The LORD always keeps his promises;
     he is gracious in all he does.
The LORD helps the fallen
     and lifts those bent beneath their loads.
The eyes of all look to you in hope;
     you give them their food as they need it.
When you open your hand,
     you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in everything he does;
     he is filled with kindness.
The LORD is close to all who call on him,
     yes, to all who call on him in truth.
He grants the desires of those who fear him;
     he hears their cries for help and rescues them.
The LORD protects all those who love him,
     but he destroys the wicked.

I will praise the LORD,
     and may everyone on earth bless his holy name
     forever and ever.       —Ps. 145 NLT

(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)


We would love for you to share in the COMMENTS the insights you have received on your journey.

As A Little Child

“An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest” (Luke 9:46 NIV).

“When he [Jesus] was in the house, he asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the road?’ But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest” (Mark 9:33, 34 NIV).

We read these verses and marvel that the disciples could be so petty after Jesus had just announced his coming persecution and death. “…he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, ‘The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise’ ” (Mark 9:31 NIV).

Jim Rosscup, in An Exposition on Prayer, postulates

Several things could have led to the question. (1) Jesus had spoken in His great sermon about being greater in the kingdom (5:19), later of being least in the kingdom (11:11). (2) Jesus had singled out Peter, even promised him keys to the kingdom (16:17–19). To wield keys in a king’s palace was to have position with authority giving access to various rooms. Other things, too, could naturally provoke the curiosity. (3) Three disciples were distinguished in going to the Transfiguration, nine not selected (17:1–13). (4) Conviction is building among the disciples that Jesus is the Messiah (16:16). The three had even heard the Father attest Him (17:5). And Jesus has just given Peter the illustration of a king and his sons. (5) Jesus singled Peter out in providing tax money for Himself and this one disciple (17:27).

Too often people gripe about who the pastor spends the majority of his time with, or joust to gain recognition from prominent individuals in order to feel significant. While complaining that there are “favorite pets” people vie for that sacred position themselves, all the while protesting that everyone should be treated equally. However, Jesus life did not exhibit that example. He chose disciples to invest His time in (Matt. 4:18–22), and committed the spreading of the Gospel message to them (Matt. 28:16–20).

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. (Matt. 18:1—5 NIV)

Matthew 18, then is about pleasing God and having a status He approves. A prayer question in curiosity about who is greater in pleasing Him receives Jesus’ answer in criteria of pleasing Him. These flow in attitudes of humility, receptivity, discipline and forgiveness. …they are to view what pleases Him as He assesses it in them, in a servant’s attitude. This is to be humble, dependent on and receptive to Him, prizing His will in self-control and disciplining others, and forgiveness. In essence neither entrance into nor eminence in the kingdom is due to human greatness. It is a privilege conferred by God’s grace. It is not by people deserving but by their dependence. The quest is not really status by the followers’ worthiness, but submission to His will. At the core is not seeking high achievement, but submitting in a humble, helpless attitude—that is, not grasping for self but giving oneself away to God and to others in ways that please Him. (Rosscup)

The Life Application Study Bible notes in reference to Matthew 18: 1–4:

It is easy to lose our eternal perspective and compete for promotions or status in the church. It is difficult, but healthy, to identify with “children”—weak and dependent people with no status or influence.

Jesus used a child to help his self-centered disciples get the point. We are not to be childish (like the disciples, arguing over petty issues), but rather childlike, with humble and sincere hearts. In what areas of your life do you tend to struggle with childishness? In what ways are you making progress with childlikeness?

Insight Journal
Am I willing to become “as a little child” and dependently trust Christ even though it may mean that I will have no status or influence?

Evidences of Humility

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
6 Though he was God,
      he did not think of equality with God
      as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
      he took the humble position of a slave
      and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
      8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
      and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Phil. 2:5 – 8 NLT)

Jesus, who is our unparalleled example of humility, while upon earth literally could have been the embodiment of a super hero or the alien from another world with supreme power. He could have wowed the populace and wooed the noble into following Him. Jesus could have been the conqueror of the world.

With His infinite knowledge and authority over the elements He could have ushered in the generation of technology with His unfathomable wisdom. He could have established colleges and schools of philosophy. Jesus was in a strategic position to be the ultimate human. None of which, however, would have saved the souls of humankind from our sins.

Jesus instead chose to make “Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Phil. 2:6 – 8 NJKV).

Jesus chose to be our Savior, submitting perfectly and specifically to the will of His Father. He asserted, “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 5:30 ESV).

Humility is understanding that your life is not you own, for it has been given by God and is to be directed at His will. See 1 Corinthians 6:12 – 20.

Humility is based in trusting God who loves you and will work all things for His glory and your well-being. See 2 Corinthians 4:7 – 10.

Humility submits your soul to Christ because His blood has purchased it; and therefore, humility realizes that your life is to be spent for His pleasure. See Romans 12:1 – 2.

Humility empties your soul of self concerning any notion that you have rights that entitle you to preferential treatment over another person. See Philippians 2:3 – 4.

Humility is the attitude of the soul when you have removed from your heart any assertion that promotes self-interest over God's will, and is devoid of any resistance that asserts itself against God's purpose. See Philippians 2:5 – 10.

Humility is the soul finding Jesus relevant to every area of life. The humble waits dependently for Christ seeking to “live out your salvation to its full potential with fear and trembling.” See Philippians 2:11 – 12.

Humility is predicated upon the premise that God has the sovereign right to order your steps in any manner that pleases His holy purpose. See Isaiah 45:9, 11 – 12.

Humility is not simply a disposition or an attitude fostered by an attempt to subdue self. Rather humility is a condition of soul shaped into the image of Jesus through the dynamics facilitated by the Holy Spirit. See Galatians 5:16 – 25.

The Holy Spirit, as He leads us to encounter truth, to believe truth, to be traumatized by truth, and to enter into the brokenness fostered by truth, transforms us into a divine person submissive and obedient to His will. Being therefore willing to give up our willfulness, humility becomes the quintessential [representing the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class] essence and manifest state of brokenness.

With these evidences of humility in mind, would you characterize yourself as a humble person?


Insight Journal
In what ways does my life evidence humility?
In what ways does my life NOT evidence humility?

Christ Is Relevant to Painting

It has been a LONG summer! In some ways too long. In other ways not long enough. Last fall we primed ourselves for some major home remodeling. One project has led to another, and in May Kirk suggested that we paint our downstairs. It must be noted from the outset, that I do not delight in painting! I do it, but I am not like my friend, Tricia, who joyfully tells me each year how much she is looking forward to her vacation time so that she can repaint all the rooms in her home, and she says it with an expansive smile and means it too!! Several other things are important for you to know. The downstairs used to be our garage, and it had been reallocated to our den/guestroom/crafting area. The walls were covered with unfinished barn siding, and cabinets and bookshelves were stained to achieve a rustic look that coordinated with our wood-burning stove.

Translating, “Let’s paint downstairs” means relocating my entire stash of crafting supplies throughout the house and dismantling all the shelves to be able to access the walls in order to paint them. It also means that everything that had a wood look would be painted either yellow or white. Yep, I said yellow – bright, June Day yellow. That was Kirk’s choice! I like happy colors, so I wasn’t going to argue about him straying from his normally dull, excuse me, muted pallet to embrace the warmth of June Day, but I did question him, repeatedly! Okay, deep breath, we can do this.

I knew it would be a grueling task, but I truly had no idea of the path ahead of us! After long conversations with our friendly Sherwin Williams paint consultants, we purchased many gallons of primer and paint and bravely (actually it was timidly) embarked on the adventure.

Did I happen to mention that as we were working on the downstairs, a contractor was also installing a new entryway to replace the rotting door ensemble? Really the reason for this portion of the remodel was to prevent downpours from flooding our basement. We hoped that in a few short days our front entrance would be reinstated and a new driveway installed to divert the water from the house. The driveway was torn out, and construction commenced in full force.

After Kirk spent hours sanding the cabinets, and shelves, I struggled with the painting process. I grumbled and complained that it didn’t look good and I couldn’t achieve the desired results. Another consultation with Sherwin Williams left them shaking their heads and saying they couldn’t make it work either. Really? Yep, I’ve said that word a lot this summer! So Kirk sanded some more to remove what I labored so many hours to accomplish. I was filled with grumbling and complaining.

Our kids constantly remind us to “Google it” to find solutions, so I took my problem to Google. The bloggers recommended Benjamin Moore paint undercoated with a special primer. I purchased Benjamin Moore paint and the special primer and conducted various sample tests on a cabinet door. The results were superior, but I was still nervous. Ultimately we settled on that particular paint without fully considering how a dry time of 16 hours between coats would actually impact our lives. Would you like to do the math to determine how many days it takes to prime and put at least 2 coats of paint on each side of 48 cabinet doors and drawers, 41 shelves, and all the cabinet bases in a limited indoor space? (I tried it outside, but the birds bombarded my first attempts, and the 90-100 degree heat and rain caused additional complications.) I’ll give you a hint – the answer is TOO long!

“Lord, how are you relevant to this?” In the midst of my grumbling and complaining He gently called me to spend my painting time with Him. God wanted to transform my painting time into an extended, focused prayer time alone with Him. Pray for THAT long? As my painting days drew into weeks, I found myself eager to begin my painting downstairs so that I could have those hours with Him. I blared my playlist of Desperate Dependency related music as He reminded me of His presence and reassured me of His plans for our lives. He set me aside to bring my clients, my burdens, and my dreams before Him and to listen for His tender words of direction.

Many days Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling devotional echoed relevant truths such as:
      •“Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit.”
      •“Rest in My presence.”
      •“Find freedom though seeking to please Me above all else.”
      •“Bring Me the sacrifice of your time.”
      •“Hold My hand, and walk joyously with Me through this day.”
      •“When things seem to be going all wrong, stop and affirm your trust in Me.”
      •“I speak to you continually. My nature is to communicate, though not always in words....You can find Me in each moment, when you have eyes that see and ears that hear.”

In regards to painting, the summer has been too long. But in regards to my time with the Lord, it has not been long enough. I think I should go prayer paint some more while I still wait for our new driveway and decide how to finish the entryway!


Insight Journal
How do you find Christ relevant to your everyday, nitty-gritty tasks?

Why Wait?

Somewhere along the Christian journey I [Kirk] synthesized the belief that if I were to walk by faith, I must first do something in the name of faith to offer proof to having faith – a serving of faith to create a saving faith in order to be secure in faith. Unfortunately, such would amount to little more than trying to convince myself that I believed in Jesus. I would seek faith for faith's sake believing that when I had mined enough of this divine gold, I would then be rich in faith and would be a true follower of Christ. The notion of waiting upon God did not seem to be a spiritually approved function of one who was dynamically pursuing Christ. But Biblical faith is more than what you believe. Biblical faith is an understanding that the what serves only to bring you to the who you rely upon.

Waiting upon God is to depend upon Him. Many relegate "walking by faith" to doing those things that are bold or sacrificial in the name of God. However this may be missing the simple truth of waiting upon God. Moses ended up wandering in the wilderness for forty years due to his unwillingness to wait.

Moses' wandering launched immediately upon doing God's work in his own human way, killing the Egyptian soldier. Violation of Egyptian law was not God's plan for Moses and this violent act exposed the achieving of God's will to undue obstacles, all because Moses' impulsive nature was unwilling to wait. The consequences of not waiting takes us places by the force of our choice that we will not want to travel, in Moses' case the wilderness wandering.

Here we need to note that there is a vast difference between the wilderness wandering and the wilderness sojourn of some forty years. Waiting on God is truly a precursor to experiencing the power of God within the human condition fraught with powerlessness. The extent to which we resist God's plan is the extent to which we are disposed to wandering the wilderness path.

We are most uncomfortable with waiting and feel that to wait is akin to doing nothing. Such a perspective places the issue into plain view of the problem. We think we are capable of doing something for God by simply doing what we think seems logical. How far from the point could we be? Do we even know what God wills to accomplish within our time? Do we know what He wishes to achieve within our strength yielded to Him as He empowers us with His Spirit? Do we realize that our spiritual gifts are a reservoir of God's power on earth that is waiting for God's wielding?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
      neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so are my ways higher than your ways
      and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isa. 55:8–9 NIV)

The wandering was not without divine purpose and caused Moses to come to the limits of his ability that divine enabling could occur. We really do not understand who we are until we are brought to define ourselves by the virtue of our limitations. The conclusions we reach about ourselves while gazing from the summit of our life's powerlessness is truly virtuous, moving us to embrace humility and a desire to wait upon God.

Waiting brings to light who and what we really are as we stand before God. True waiting upon God indicates reliance on Him and resting in Him and a brokenness before Him that signifies a readiness to receive from Him the very essence of what He desires to give. Waiting on God is embraced with a fear of adulterating His heart with our mind, and contaminating His will with our way. So waiting is vital in helping clarify our doing God's work His way over seeking our will in His name. Waiting signifies our having an utter disregard for what self can do and places value on God to lead us.

We stand ready to do God's will as He provides us the power to accomplish His good pleasure. Waiting is characterized by a seeking disposition whereby we engage Christ relationally in prayer, through the Scriptures, and by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Here we beseech God to guide us into the full knowledge of His will for the purpose of embracing the good pleasure of His heart, that we would be given wisdom and spiritual understanding so that we would walk worthy of the Lord.

“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God” (Eph. 4:1 NLT).


Insight Journal
What keeps me from waiting on God’s direction in my life? What sins must I confess in light of this admission?

God's Submarine Ride

(excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

The familiar story of Jonah illustrates the approaches employed to address the deeper problem of the nature of sin. God was seeking to save a people while salvaging a prophet. Resistance and self-sufficiency jumped to the forefront as fear, evidenced by anger, gripped Jonah’s heart at the thought that God would not judge the wicked Ninevites. Jonah’s strategy to resolve the crisis was to ensure that God would destroy the people of Nineveh. Believing he could thwart God’s plan by refusing to participate, Jonah asserted his willfulness to create his own redemptive process. Unwilling to trust God, Jonah allowed his bitterness to fester and employed his own creative solutions.

The command to obey God produced a crisis for Jonah, the messenger of God. The possibility of God being merciful and compassionate to Nineveh pressured him to the point of stress and anxiety. Advancing his way over God’s will, Jonah attempted to resolve the crisis and restore control to himself, prompting Jonah to address his redemptive need with a plan to go in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord.

Prompted by the lie that he could actually live independently, Jonah boarded a ship, hoping to escape from the Lord. Temporary relief came as he slept in the hold of the ship. God disrupted Jonah’s comfort with a storm prepared especially for him. Invested in ignoring God, Jonah also shut out the thrashing of the waves, the pitch and yaw of the ship, and the shifting of the cargo until the captain of the ship demanded Jonah seek his God for a redemptive plan. What irony!

But Jonah sought to resolve the crisis with another self-made plan involving a death wish: “Throw me into the sea” (Jonah 1:12 NLT). In the belly of the great fish (Rosscup calls it a “submarine ride”) God once again offered His redemptive plan. After three days and three nights Jonah was ready to follow God’s truth and acknowledged, “My salvation comes from the LORD alone” (Jonah 2:9 NLT). Submitting to God’s plan, he allowed the power of God to resolve his fears and take over his will.

“Then the LORD spoke to Jonah a second time: . . . This time Jonah obeyed” (Jonah 3:1, 3 NLT). When the people of Nineveh “put a stop to their evil ways” (Jonah 3:10 NLT), Jonah’s greatest fear came true. An additional crisis was produced, and depression followed. Jonah’s submission to God’s will did not include adopting God’s heart. He had no desire to see the people saved who were steeped in perversion and debauchery. Self-sufficiency regained its foothold, and with another death wish Jonah pleaded, “Just kill me now, LORD! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen” (Jonah 4:3 NLT). Invested in his own plan, his depression intensified while he justified his mental illness. “The LORD replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about this?’ . . . ‘Yes,’ Jonah retorted, ‘even angry enough to die!’” (Jonah 4:4, 9 NLT). The story ends with God in the process of salvaging Jonah by showing him he has no ability to independently restore control to his life, because God’s plan will prevail.

Despite our best efforts, our plans cannot measure up to God’s design. Our feeble attempts to live independently from God result in disastrous consequences. Perversion propels us to further crisis, although God continues to assert His truth that we must be desperately dependent on Him in every area of our lives. Through Christ’s redemptive process we have a new set of options that can overcome guilt, shame, and fear with an overflow of His love, joy, and peace if we are willing to be desperately dependent.

Insight Journal
Describe a situation in which you used selfish ambition instead of relying on the Spirit’s fruit of gentleness. How would this situation be described differently if you were relying on the Spirit’s fruit of gentleness?

The Art of Influence

Why do you want to be a leader? What type of influence do you desire to exert? Influence that makes you look good? Influence that makes you feel good? Influence that benefits the lives of others? Or are you seeking to provide influence that is reflective of God's guidance? On the other side, whose influence do you want to follow?

Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature. He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death – even death on a cross! (Phil. 2:3-8 NET)

Check your motives. Motivation makes all the difference between being a healthy leader or an unhealthy leader, the difference between being a godly leader or an ungodly leader. No influence exerted on another from a self-centered orientation can be healthy or godly, for the intent is always exploitive. Leadership derived from the reservoir of self will only yield a pathological influence on others, ultimately depriving them of intimacy with God as they are depleted by the industry of a self-centered agenda.

Will you be honest enough to examine your heart on this matter? Unfortunately, those who do not challenge their soul’s tendency to usurp God’s will for leadership have a propensity to counterfeit all that is godly for the pursuit of their own purposes. The shackles of the sensual amusements of the world, the flesh, and the devil draw us through the lust of our hearts and the vanity of our lives and bind us in strongholds.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world." (1 John 2:15-16 ESV)

Leadership that is filled with our plans is devoid of His plan. When we live independently from God we search for a substitute as our validating source. Without a desperate dependency on Him we establish a counterfeit connection with people, positions, and possessions in our pursuit for validation. We extract love from illicit relationships to prove that we are lovable, to establish our significance, and to enable us to feel secure. But in actuality we suffer loss because people, positions, and possessions are incapable of fulfilling us. Ultimately we are left unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and incomplete as the result of pursuing God substitutes. The delusional sense of satisfaction that stimulates and sedates eventually fades and we are left wanting more. In our vain attempts we explore other counterfeits that may promise temporary contentment, but only provide mutually satisfying exploitation and manipulation to empower our identity.

When we look to people, positions, and possessions to empower love, significance, and security in our lives, our counterfeit gods enable us to feel complete and contented for a time. But it is the compulsion of any of us to become reliant on whomever we reverence. And when what we reverence becomes the defining entity in our lives, our god, we live in service to what will ultimately disappoint.

Jesus said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26 NLT). It is a bewildering truth as well as paradoxically necessary, that others be hated that we may love Jesus with a pure and undivided heart, in order that we may have the ability to love, serve, and lead others with a pure and undivided loyalty to God.

The God place of our souls is designed for Jesus. Boundaries should be built around this sacred place to assure that none other but Christ resides there. It should be guarded by our fear of God with our appropriate view of God serving as the sentinel. The highest of all that is lofty should be ascribed to Jesus so that He attracts in full our hearts, minds, and souls, capturing our strength with the truth of His glory and virtue. Then Jesus becomes central because He is preeminent. We come to see Him in truth, as He actually is—Lord, Savior, lover of our souls, champion of our hearts. It is here that each one of us will be vested with the sacred trust given by the Spirit of God to lead in the path to intimacy with Christ and to lead others by the excellence of His good pleasure.

The New Testament: An Expanded Translation by Kenneth Wuest presents The Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20 with its mandates from this perspective:

Now, the eleven disciples went on their way to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had appointed them. And having seen Him, they worshipped Him, prostrating themselves on the ground before Him. But some doubted. And Jesus, having come, spoke to them, saying, There was given to me all authority in heaven and upon earth. Having gone on your way therefore, teach all the nations, making them your pupils, baptizing them into the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to be attending to carefully, holding firmly to, and observing all, whatever things I enjoined upon you. And behold, as for myself, with you I am all the days until the consummation of the age.

Insight Journal
What is your motive for wanting to serve and lead?
Do you yearn for personal significance or God’s glory?

(some excerpts included from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis)

"Mow the grass."

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Col. 3:12–13 NLT).

This passage encompasses the action required as we allow the Holy Spirit to exhibit His fruit of patience in our lives. Consider if Patrick Perfect persevered by the spirit or counterfeited patience with control which culminated in frustration.

Patrick Perfect decided it was time for his son to learn the manly art of mowing the yard. He had always prided himself in his specialized method of mowing the lawn, and neighbors as well as passers-by commented on what a neat appearance their yard always had. This was an important heritage to pass to his son, Pete.

Patrick was certain that Pete had already gleaned all the important details of mowing the lawn because he was now a teenager and had seen the perfectly manicured lawn for 13 years! So when Patrick left for work, he charged Pete with the honor of mowing the yard. As he left for his day at the office, a glowing sense of pride welled up within him; he knew that Pete would be a shining star in his father’s crown.

But when Patrick returned from work that evening, horror gripped his heart when he pulled into the driveway! The yard looked like a corn maze!! And hay was piled in lumps in inconceivable locations! What happened to the perfectly aligned diagonal rows that had characterized the Perfect home? Why were there sprigs of grass scattered all across the sidewalk? Why could Pete not just mow the grass the way it was supposed to be?

Patrick stormed into the house and yanked the headset from Pete’s ears. With a barrage of explicatives and accusations, Patrick towed his son to the front porch to view his catastrophe that was laid bare for the world to see.

Dad anguished. “How could I have trusted you with such an important task??”

Pete answered, “Dad, I mowed the grass like you asked! What more did you want?”

Are their other times you have seen control take over when God's purposes could have been better accomplished by allowing the Holy Spirit to evidence His fruit of patience? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.


Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit patience or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.

Christ Is Relevant to Forgiveness

relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)

For approximately forty years Kirk could recall the night his father left home. Mama and his three siblings cowered behind an old car in the yard while, in a drunken tirade, their father threatened to kill them. After all the years of estrangement, Kirk and Melanie headed to an address where they were told John Lewis could be found.

We had just completed a Desperate Dependency conference at a church in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, where Melanie once again elaborated on the topic of Moving from Anger to Forgiveness. Kirk believed he had forgiven his dad and was allowing God to be responsible for his father. Resolved that his father would never meet his paternal needs, Kirk abandoned his desire for an earthly father and found a relationship with a heavenly father instead. Kirk was not seeking his dad for any resolution or for anything he needed from him.

Resolved that he would never see his father again, Kirk imagined seeing his dad in a coffin. But now a disruptive force entered the scene as we were faced with becoming reacquainted with John Lewis. Tempted to reclaim the debt that was owed, there had never been a time when the principles of forgiveness were so profoundly clear. “My dad owes me nothing. Instead he owes God for everything.” There was no debt to collect.

Kirk was freed from having to interact with the debt. The awkwardness of the looming encounter dissipated into peace. The anxiousness of “What will I do with him now?” vanished into an understanding of God’s sovereign plan that was unfolding. We only needed to face the opportunity in truth depending upon Christ to give guidance that would navigate this relationship.

How would the debt be satisfied?

The many years of alcoholism and sinful living had taken their toll. Fourteen years ago John encountered a near death experience that resulted in a change from alcoholism to sobriety, from being a chain smoker to being tobacco free. For the first time Melanie was introduced to her father-in-law, by a son that John did not recognize. As we sat for hours, John repeatedly expressed his amazement that we had come to find him. But he claimed that he had imagined that it would happen this way one day. The conversation was strained by the lost years, but casual reminiscence filled the silence.

John recognized himself as a sinful man, and claims that he has asked God to forgive him 1000 times. With confident assurance, he believes that Jesus died for his sins, has forgiven him, and that he will one day be with Christ in eternity. Dad, with a quiver in his voice, proclaimed, “I know that that Jesus died for my sins and I believe with all my heart that He arose from the dead. I can’t prove it but I sure do believe it.”