Christ Is Relevant to Control Issues

In Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, chapter 1, we presented this scenario that we discussed from Diane’s perspective last week. This week we will look at it from George’s perspective.

Diane felt out of control in her life. When she met George she knew he was the answer to all her problems. He was a very successful businessman with many people in his employment. After twenty years with the same company, he knew exactly how things needed to be done and how to make sure they got done exactly the way they needed to be done. The employees knew George had a solution to every problem and could tell them step by step how to accomplish the necessary task. His excellence in leadership had been awarded frequently.

Since George was so accustomed to running things in an orderly fashion at work, he shared his expertise with Diane all the time. “He says I do a wonderful job preparing the meals he likes, but I need to learn a little more about using spices. Yesterday I received a special lesson on folding the bath towels correctly. If I miss a weed in the flowerbeds, he is sure to show me exactly where it is. He continuously reminds me that if I just follow his instructions everything will run smoothly. I just don’t know what I would do without him, but there are some times when I would sure like to find out.” Diane did not have the solution for the frustration, anger, turmoil, and rejection she felt.

In the Insight Journal we suggested that you consider how each person in the examples of chapter 1 used

people to search for satisfaction,
positions to seek fulfillment, and
possessions to produce significance.

In our evaluation of George we can note that he looked to his employees and wife, as well as his positions as successful businessman and husband, to empower his life. George ordered his world, including the people around him, to find satisfaction, fulfillment, and significance.

George operated with a philosophy that placed himself in the God-Place of everyone under his sphere of influence. Ironically, this placed everyone under his sphere of influence in his God-Place. If George could build people, make them efficient, and strengthen them, then George would have proof of his own significance. There would be further validation when all would arise and praise him with accolades of his personal greatness. While others thought they needed George as their mighty savior, he needed them to elevate him to that place. If George could get others to ascribe greatness to him, then he could be empowered to be god.

The appropriation of the first commandment, “You must not have any other god but me,” can produce the trauma of truth to bring George to brokenness and repentance. Submission and obedience are evidenced through a death to self that can continually motivate George in Christ’s redemptive process.

What empowers your life?

Christ Is Relevant to Security

In Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, chapter 1, we presented this scenario:

Diane felt out of control in her life. When she met George she knew he was the answer to all her problems. He was a very successful businessman with many people in his employment. After twenty years with the same company, he knew exactly how things needed to be done and how to make sure they got done exactly the way they needed to be done. The employees knew George had a solution to every problem and could tell them step by step how to accomplish the necessary task. His excellence in leadership had been awarded frequently.

Since George was so accustomed to running things in an orderly fashion at work, he shared his expertise with Diane all the time. “He says I do a wonderful job preparing the meals he likes, but I need to learn a little more about using spices. Yesterday I received a special lesson on folding the bath towels correctly. If I miss a weed in the flowerbeds, he is sure to show me exactly where it is. He continuously reminds me that if I just follow his instructions everything will run smoothly. I just don’t know what I would do without him, but there are some times when I would sure like to find out.” Diane did not have the solution for the frustration, anger, turmoil, and rejection she felt.

In the Insight Journal we suggested that you consider how each person in the examples of chapter 1 used

people to search for satisfaction,
positions to seek fulfillment, and
possessions to produce significance.

In our evaluation of Diane we can note that she looked to George, and her position as his wife to empower her life.

Diane was drawn to George by the very things that also seemed to repel her – security and control. When we posture to procure what God freely offers from a source other than Christ, we are sure to be made a slave of the counterfeit source.

Diane was empowered with George’s strong personality promising her security, but she failed to ask, “How can my relationship with Christ bring security and order?” Unfortunately most of us seek control and security apart from Christ because we have not lived in a relevant relationship that has taught us to trust His reality, love, and sovereignty. When we can live supported by the Three Pillars of Christianity – God is real, therefore He is relevant; God is love, therefore He is compassionate; and God is sovereign, therefore He is trustworthy; then we can find Him to be our reason for living, our resource for thriving, and our resolution to crisis. But if we insist that love, security, and significance can be found in people, positions, and possessions, then we will be empowered by what will ultimately disappoint.

What empowers your life?

Christ Is Relevant to Childlessness

In Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, chapter 1, we presented this scenario of Abram and Sarai. In the Insight Journal we suggested that you consider how each person in the examples of chapter 1 used

people to search for satisfaction,
positions to seek fulfillment, and
possessions to produce significance.

Last week we considered Abram’s perspective, this week let’s consider Sarai’s vantage point.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The LORD has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife….(Gen. 16:1–3 NLT)

Sarai struggled with not being able to hold the position of mother and therefore being viewed as a failure in her position as wife. Using her position as mistress to seek fulfillment, Sarai turned to Abram, Hagar, and a baby to search for satisfaction. Believing that her possession of her servant could produce significance, she manipulated for the possession of a baby to empower her life.

Abram and Sarai could not comprehend the complete picture that God was producing in their lives. The false gods that permeated their culture needed human help to succeed, and they were still learning about their God who had chosen them to fulfill His plan.

As surrendered followers of Jesus Christ who live in desperate dependency upon Him, we are empowered by God to live beyond ourselves. The power to live Christ’s life on earth cannot be manufactured by our own efforts. We are not even capable of conceptualizing the process. Human beings on a quest for their own best interest usually resort toward self-indulgence or self-promotion, thinking self-empowerment is somehow the solution to their powerless condition.

God is extending deliverance to us as we rely on Him. “It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies” (Zech. 4:6 NLT).

God has no higher concern and espouses no greater agenda than to promote Jesus as preeminent within our lives.

Unfortunately, when we consider God’s job in our lives, we think we are merely saved from hell and destined for heaven. But God has provided so much more for us. The salvation Christ offers is not merely for escape from hell, or membership in heaven. Rather, it is an invitation to a relationship with the living God! Through His great and precious promises He enables us to experience abundant life now and an eternal inheritance beyond comprehension.

That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
      and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
      for those who love him.”

But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. —1 Cor. 2:9–12 (NLT)

How should these verses affect the way I live?

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.
      “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so my ways are higher than your ways
      and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” —Isa. 55:8–9 (NLT)

Christ Is Relevant to My Agenda

Apart from a relevant relationship with Jesus Christ we will look to people, positions, and possessions to empower and complete our lives. The sin nature motivates us to be desperate individuals and we choose influences other than Christ.

Consider the following examples:

Some time later, the LORD spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.”

But Abram replied, “O Sovereign LORD, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.”

Then the LORD said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” Then the LORD took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” (Gen. 15:1–5 NLT)

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The LORD has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) (Gen. 16:1–3 NLT)

“…the LORD spoke to Abram,” but still Abram followed a plan that he thought would help God out. Sarai’s proposal empowered his life while he sought the position of father of "descendants as numerous as the stars." He hoped his possessions would continue to produce significance for his heirs.

The story of Abram/Abraham and Sarai/Sarah cautions us to realize that we must continuously seek His way even if we decide we have a good plan.

Paul offers his life as an example of how frustrating it is to live outside a desperately dependent relationship with Christ.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.(Rom. 7:21–25 NLT)

Only by connecting to Jesus Christ our Lord can we be free from the dominating struggle that threatens to consume us. When we are given a set of rules to follow, our sinful tendency is to rebel and assert our independence. But pursuing God frees us from the control of our sinful selves.

With our agenda no longer at the forefront, we are now freed from the dominance of our desires to therefore follow God consistently and achieve His purpose. A fulfilling relationship emerges as God connects to us, we connect to God, and others experience the overflow of our divinely empowered connection.

Will you allow Christ to complete His agenda in your life?

Christ Is Relevant to Forgiveness

relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)

For approximately forty years Kirk could recall the night his father left home. Mama and his three siblings cowered behind an old car in the yard while, in a drunken tirade, their father threatened to kill them. After all the years of estrangement, Kirk and Melanie headed to an address where they were told John Lewis could be found.

We had just completed a Desperate Dependency conference at a church in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, where Melanie once again elaborated on the topic of Moving from Anger to Forgiveness. Kirk believed he had forgiven his dad and was allowing God to be responsible for his father. Resolved that his father would never meet his paternal needs, Kirk abandoned his desire for an earthly father and found a relationship with a heavenly father instead. Kirk was not seeking his dad for any resolution or for anything he needed from him.

Resolved that he would never see his father again, Kirk imagined seeing his dad in a coffin. But now a disruptive force entered the scene as we were faced with becoming reacquainted with John Lewis. Tempted to reclaim the debt that was owed, there had never been a time when the principles of forgiveness were so profoundly clear. “My dad owes me nothing. Instead he owes God for everything.” There was no debt to collect.

Kirk was freed from having to interact with the debt. The awkwardness of the looming encounter dissipated into peace. The anxiousness of “What will I do with him now?” vanished into an understanding of God’s sovereign plan that was unfolding. We only needed to face the opportunity in truth depending upon Christ to give guidance that would navigate this relationship.

How would the debt be satisfied?

The many years of alcoholism and sinful living had taken their toll. Fourteen years ago John encountered a near death experience that resulted in a change from alcoholism to sobriety, from being a chain smoker to being tobacco free. For the first time Melanie was introduced to her father-in-law, by a son that John did not recognize. As we sat for hours, John repeatedly expressed his amazement that we had come to find him. But he claimed that he had imagined that it would happen this way one day. The conversation was strained by the lost years, but casual reminiscence filled the silence.

John recognized himself as a sinful man, and claims that he has asked God to forgive him 1000 times. With confident assurance, he believes that Jesus died for his sins, has forgiven him, and that he will one day be with Christ in eternity. Dad, with a quiver in his voice, proclaimed, “I know that that Jesus died for my sins and I believe with all my heart that He arose from the dead. I can’t prove it but I sure do believe it.”

Christ Is Relevant to Unemployment

relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)

This is how Heather tells her story.

My boss called me into his office after lunch on a Tuesday afternoon. Didn’t seem like a big deal. I went over there and was totally caught off guard by the effects of the slow economy and layoff. I was told how I was a wonderful employee for the last almost 8 years and that it wasn’t anything personal, just my particular position was being eliminated. I was told I could gather my things and go home and come back at a later date to clear out my desk. This really shook my world up. I could have reacted so many different ways. Of course I was upset and it wasn’t the plan I would have chosen. But that day I chose to believe God is who He says He is and trust Him to provide for my three children and me!

Thru this layoff I have been able to be such a witness to my former co-workers and show them that Christ really does make a difference and give God the glory thru this!
God has also given me so much extra time with my children that I am treasuring while I am doing my “dream job” of being a stay-at-home mommy. While I know this a temporary job since the pay is low, I am enjoying every moment I can!

God also has provided me with so much extra rest! Being a single mom to three kids for the past five years makes one tired! I didn’t even know to ask God for a break and yet in His mercy He decided to give me such a great break during a time when I needed it!
While I am waiting for God to show me the next path He wants me to take, I am watching Him continue to provide for my family and me exceedingly and abundantly! He continues to constantly amaze me! He more than meets our needs! He even meets so many of our wants! He has provided for my son to go on a mission trip this summer and my daughter to attend church camp. And so many other things!

I could have so easily slipped into a time of depression on that day in January, which would have been my normal defense mechanism. I am so thankful that I have learned how to find Christ relevant to every area of my life, and choose to believe the truth about God!

Christ Is Relevant to Depression

relevant: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand; affording evidence tending to prove or disprove the matter at issue or under discussion. (Webster's dictionary)

This is how Amanda tells her story about finding Christ relevant to her depression.

God has taught me to be more dependent upon Him through a struggle I’m having with depression. I tried to find my love, joy, and peace in people. It didn’t work. I felt disappointed. I tried to find it in my job. It didn’t work. I felt dissatisfied. I even tried to find worth and value in how I looked. And again it didn’t work. I have too many imperfections. The only way I could find my love, joy, and peace is through Christ and Christ alone.

I’ve let this struggle with depression almost destroy me. Life the past five years has been somewhat miserable for me because I was trying to find my worth and value in things other than Christ. I spent many days lying in bed thinking, “how could God love someone like me” and thinking, “I have no purpose.” Thankfully, God has helped me to change my thoughts in so many ways, although it is an area where I’m still healing. I now know God loves me and know that He does have a purpose for me.

I am a Kindergarten teacher and have been for 5 years. The first few years of teaching I didn’t really think to pray for my students. I mostly focused on myself and what I could or couldn’t do. These years were not my best because I had my focus in the wrong place. Not having God in the center of my life caused me turn inward and because of this I ended up depressed.

It’s only been recently that I’ve changed my perspective in my job and can now see the reasons why God has placed me in a classroom full of 5 & 6 year olds. I’ve learned that I should take time to pray for my students and their families every day. I am there to make a difference in the children’s lives and want to share God's love with them. Teaching my students their ABC’s or to count to 100 is important, but not as important as them knowing God loves them.

My purpose is to be His servant and to be dependent upon Him in every area of my life. I just have to remind myself each day to keep my focus on God and off of myself. I pray for God to give me strength to make it through the day, because without Him I couldn’t get very far.