As you have been considering Psalm 119 and evaluating each personalization statement, what are you noticing about your status as an individual who is desperately dependent on God?
Count all your marks. Remember each section has 8 verses, so if you have completed all five sections so far you have a possibility of 40 marks.
"I marked _____ of 40 verses." (By the time you complete each section there will be 176 verses!)
Prayerfully consider which category authentically describes you currently and consistently. Of course, these are not hard and concrete determinations, because we are humans who are prone to error and deception that may cause us to evaluate ourselves either better or worse than God sees us. But the following continuum can offer a basic understanding of the status of your relationship with God and the direction you are heading.
Independent of God- I am resistant to God working in my life. I want to be the captain of my own ship and determine my own direction. I am actually a very dependent person, but not dependent on God.
Searching for God- I recognize I have a need for God in my life. I’m not doing so well at making it on my own. I am looking for solutions in my life and think God may be the answer. But I choose people, positions, and possessions to fill the God place in my life.
Desiring God- I want to have a relationship with God, so I am attempting to satisfy that yearning. I think I know what God wants, and I want what God wants, so I pray and ask for mercy and deliverance, but return to my sins soon after. I find myself desperate, but not desperately dependent on God. I want to be dependent, but I’m just not there. I’m set on doing it my way.
Connecting with God- I have a union with God that offers me fellowship. But I also have trust issues that result in fear and make me wonder, “If I turn everything over, what will happen?” I still have a long way to go, but I think I am on the right track. I am easily distracted from God’s purpose, but I am learning that He is faithful and continuously pulling me back to Him. I am learning to depend on Him only.
Desperately dependent on God- I am not perfect, but I have an unwavering trust that He is the best and only option for navigating this life. He knows what is necessary for me, so I rely on His divine enablement for my personal empowerment as I pursue my greatest goal of glorifying Him. (If you believe you fall in this category, prayerfully consider if you actually completed the exercise honestly, or if you were merely choosing what you want to be true of you.)
If you are really brave and want to know more about yourself, you might consider asking someone close to you to complete the Evaluation of Desperate Dependency with you in mind. God does place people in our lives to assist us in our growth process. But if you are resistant to another’s assessment and feedback, there is the potential that your relationship will be scarred as a result. However, if someone completes the exercise on your behalf, your relationship may be strengthened because of the authentication of their commitment to your maturity.
