"Mow the grass."

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Col. 3:12–13 NLT).

This passage encompasses the action required as we allow the Holy Spirit to exhibit His fruit of patience in our lives. Consider if Patrick Perfect persevered by the spirit or counterfeited patience with control which culminated in frustration.

Patrick Perfect decided it was time for his son to learn the manly art of mowing the yard. He had always prided himself in his specialized method of mowing the lawn, and neighbors as well as passers-by commented on what a neat appearance their yard always had. This was an important heritage to pass to his son, Pete.

Patrick was certain that Pete had already gleaned all the important details of mowing the lawn because he was now a teenager and had seen the perfectly manicured lawn for 13 years! So when Patrick left for work, he charged Pete with the honor of mowing the yard. As he left for his day at the office, a glowing sense of pride welled up within him; he knew that Pete would be a shining star in his father’s crown.

But when Patrick returned from work that evening, horror gripped his heart when he pulled into the driveway! The yard looked like a corn maze!! And hay was piled in lumps in inconceivable locations! What happened to the perfectly aligned diagonal rows that had characterized the Perfect home? Why were there sprigs of grass scattered all across the sidewalk? Why could Pete not just mow the grass the way it was supposed to be?

Patrick stormed into the house and yanked the headset from Pete’s ears. With a barrage of explicatives and accusations, Patrick towed his son to the front porch to view his catastrophe that was laid bare for the world to see.

Dad anguished. “How could I have trusted you with such an important task??”

Pete answered, “Dad, I mowed the grass like you asked! What more did you want?”

Are their other times you have seen control take over when God's purposes could have been better accomplished by allowing the Holy Spirit to evidence His fruit of patience? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.


Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit patience or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.

"She is so nice."

Are you ready to evaluate another scenario? Consider if Bernice is really exhibiting the Holy Spirit's fruit of goodness, or is she exploiting situations for her own benefit? If you need a refresher course, click here to review our previous post on Counterfeit Goodness. Remember, goodness is the fruit of the Holy Spirit that enables us to exemplify God’s moral nature.

"Bernice is soooo nice! Every time something has to be done at the church, she is always there to help.

"We needed help stuffing shoe boxes—she was there.

"We asked for someone to help in the kitchen—she was there.

"They needed an extra nursery worker—she helped.

"She led a VBS team.

"She scrubbed the toilet bowls.

"She leads a ladies’ Bible study.

"She teaches a small group.

"She hosts parties.

"She painted the baseboards in the hallways.

"She turns the lights on for services.

"She turns off the lights at the end of service.

"She collected money for the orphanage.

"She sings in the choir.

"She does it all!! She is sooo good!

"I was talking to her the other day, and she was telling me that she just never felt good enough! She said no one ever thanks her for all that she does! She believes she keeps having to do more and more so that people will think well of her, but it doesn’t ever seem to be enough!!"

Yes, we believe God wants us to serve everyone. But is that really true? Did Jesus serve everyone? Although the pool at Bethesda was surrounded with sick people, John 5 only records Jesus healing one of them. God has a specific task for you to do, and only when you stay in tune with the Holy Spirit's work in your life can you know what He has for you to do. Otherwise you exhaust yourself living by your own effort. God gives you everything you need to accomplish the work that He has for you to do. But if it is not a job He has for you to do, you will be left feeling inadequate.

Did this make you think of an example where someone used exploitation instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to exhibit goodness in his or her life? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.

Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit goodness or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.

"I love you."

In chapter 3 of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, the Insight Journal asks you to consider various scenarios when a situation would be ministry (seeking your best interest) versus when it would be manipulation (seeking my best interest). What do you think about this one?

Valentine’s Day was right around the corner—the time to celebrate love and affection, when love is in the air. If you sit at home on February 14th, you are labeled as a loser, destined to become a grumpy old man who dies alone. Jared certainly did not want that inscription on his tombstone!

As he made his rounds at the office, Jared hovered in one cubicle after another.
“Sally, you know you are my favorite secretary of all! Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Tiffany, you look radiant in that black dress. Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Mary Jane, you know how to make the best coffee. Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Hannah, you know you don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Will you go out with me?”

Hannah DID know she didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, so she agreed to Jared’s invitation.

After spending way too much money on a stunning dress and over-priced shoes that she would never wear again, Hannah primped for hours with the goal to WOW Jared. When she met him at the door, she knew she attained her goal.

Jared loved how Hannah made him feel. And later that Valentine’s night he whispered, “I love you” to be able to gratify more of his desires. Hannah believed Jared’s words sealed a commitment of care and compassion and responded, “I love you, too.”

Ministry (seeking your best interest) or manipulation (seeking my best interest)? When we do not allow the Holy Spirit to control our lives, we are merely seeking self-satisfaction.

Did this make you think of an example where someone used manipulation instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to exhibit kindness in his or her life? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.

Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit kindness or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.

"Let me introduce you to my friend."

In chapter 3 of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life, the Insight Journal asks you to consider various scenarios when a situation would be ministry (seeking your best interest) versus when it would be manipulation (seeking my best interest). What do you think about this one?

“Katie! Katie!! Katie!!! Katie!!!! You HAVE to come meet my new friend!!!!!” Sarah bounced as she drug Katie down the sidewalk. “There I was just sitting in the library minding my own business when this good-looking guy asked if he could share the table with me. Of course, I didn’t want to say ‘no!’ He has the most gorgeous blue eyes and kind smile! And then his friend came over and sat down too! Two great looking guys were sitting at the table with me!! And guess what they were studying! They both had these huge law books and said they were getting ready to defend a big lawsuit. Apparently they work for this big law firm down the street.

“Katie, you have to come meet these guys so I won’t look so stupid! You are so smart and beautiful that I KNOW they will want to ask us both out! You can talk to them about the big case you just won in court! They might even help you get on with their law firm. I know you have wanted to work some place more prestigious. We could both marry these handsome, rich, successful lawyers and live happily ever after! This is a win, win situation for both of us!”

Can you find evidence of the Holy Spirit’s fruit of kindness in this scenario? How many different ways did Sarah try to manipulate?

Did this make you think of an example where someone used manipulation instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to exhibit kindness in his or her life? We’d love to hear your story. Write to us at contact@desperatedependency.com.

Click here for a more complete elaboration on the topic of counterfeit kindness or visit WinePress Bookstore for a copy of Desperate Dependency: Finding Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.