OUR STORY
From the Sandhills of rural North
Carolina and the mountains of New York State, Kirk Lewis and Melanie came to
the hills of Tennessee to prepare for Christian service at Tennessee Temple
University. At the annual missions’ conferences, they connected to a wide
variety of mission agencies to determine how they could be utilized in
supporting missionary families. The common answer echoed, “Get some experience
and then come back and see us.”
Throughout childhood Melanie
witnessed hurting ministry families cared for through the gifted hospitality of
her parents. Kirk’s childhood provided continuous testimony of people
professing Christianity with little evidence of a set apart life. Ministry
families suffered in silence around him. As a result, Kirk and Melanie’s deep
desire has been to help people find Christ relevant to every area of life,
whether they are in the pulpit or the pew.
Even in the inpatient drug and
alcohol rehabilitation hospital where Kirk was employed, he noted Christians
and ministry families struggling to live effective lives with sustained
ministries. In private practice Kirk and Melanie initiated support groups for
ministers and their wives, and also provided individual counseling for ministry
workers and family members. The devastation of the clergy has been astounding.
On a quest to fortify the body of
Christ, Kirk and Melanie moved their counseling practice to a church-based
setting. As an ordained minister, Kirk facilitates open dialog with ministers
and prospective Christian workers regarding the unique challenges associated
with a faith-based career. Melanie addresses the needs of fatigued women and
children by rebuilding confidence, providing encouragement, and outlining directional
guidance.
On July 25, 2014 another story
began, Desperately Dependent Community was formed as a not-for-profit 501(c)3
organization.
For decades, Kirk and Melanie
Lewis have ministered as a team, challenging people to an authentic
relationship with Jesus Christ. As counselors they are committed to using
Biblical principles to facilitate healing and liberate weary souls from
emotional bondage. Their counsel is founded upon the belief that Jesus Christ
is the center of well-being, that the Bible is the authority, and that
psychology is the applied aspect of theology. Through consistent application of
Biblical truths they have fostered a community of compassionate caregivers who
strive to point others to find Christ relevant to every area of life.
Together Kirk and Melanie
co-authored Desperate Dependency: Finding
Christ Relevant to Every Area of Life. Their life message incorporated in
this work serves as a counseling curriculum and spiritual growth model when
teaching, tending, and training Christian ministers and workers. The mentoring
and discipleship process has facilitated growth in countless people, many of
whom now make up Desperately Dependent Community. While cultivating this
community, those who have been ministered to, mature to compassionate
caregivers who in turn minister to others. The reciprocating cycle integrates continuous
testimony of changed lives that motivate and encourage the community.
Individuals who have “been there” support those who flounder even in leadership
positions.
Other curriculums including Marriages that Minister and As A Little Child develop the framework
for finding Christ relevant to marriage, and parenting while incorporating
Scriptural truth as the foundation. These Biblical truths are expounded to
produce authentic Christian living on a practical level. Intensives are offered
to present the entire course of study through classes, seminars, and
conferences. Condensed versions of the material are presented in small groups,
teaching, sermons, and various other methods as needed.
Churches dealing with ministerial
failure, congregational conflicts, leadership discord, and crisis have received
assistance and direction though consultations and crisis intervention provided
by Desperately Dependent Community. Families and individuals suffering from the
fallout have obtained support and direction to prevent life-long devastating
victimization. All are challenged to find Christ relevant to every area of
their lives.
STATISTICS RELEVANT TO DESPERATELY DEPENDENT COMMUNITY
Recent statistics have listed Chattanooga, Tennessee with remarkable distinctions. Gallup released a 2013 analysis of the top 189 U.S. metro areas to report that Chattanooga is among the 10 most unhappy metro areas in the United States. According to the American Bible Society's 2014 study, Chattanooga was listed #1 of America's Most Bible-Minded Cities. Are these statistics proof that Christianity makes no significant difference to well-being? Many hypotheses can be submitted, but ultimately we should ask if it is true or false that you “are complete through your union with Christ” (Col. 2:10 NLT)?
Chattanooga, the buckle of the Bible belt, is not the only conundrum. Paradoxical ministry statistics abound.
1. 23% of the pastors surveyed said they felt happy and content on a regular basis with who they are in Christ, in their church, and in their home! (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
2. 71% of pastors stated they were burned out, and they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis. (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
3. 77% of the pastors we surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage! (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
4. Almost 40% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry. (The Shaeffer Institute distilled research from Barna, Focus on the Family, and Fuller Seminary)
5. 54% of the pastors had viewed internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days. [In March of 2002 RickWarren’s (author of the Purpose Driven life) Pastors.com website conducted a survey on porn use of 1351 pastors.]
6. The typical pastor has his greatest ministry impact at a church in years 5 through 14 of his pastorate; unfortunately, the average pastor lasts only five years at a church. (Barna)
7. Most statistics say that 60% to 80% of those who enter the ministry will not still be in it 10 years later, and only a fraction will stay in it as a lifetime career. (The Shaeffer Institute distilled research from Barna, Focus on the Family, and Fuller Seminary)
8. The New York Times published an article on August 8, 2010 stating:
The findings have surfaced with ominous regularity over the last few years, and with little notice: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.
9. The majority of pastor's wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry. (Mark Driscoll, "Death by Ministry")
10. Eighty percent of adult children of pastors surveyed have had to seek professional help for depression. (2002)
11. 34% of Christians feel called to the work they currently do (among those who are presently employed). (Barna)
12. Only 5% of people who describe themselves as Christian and involved in a church indicated that their church does anything to hold them accountable for integrating biblical beliefs and principles into their life. (Barna)
Colossians 2:6–7 reminds us:
STATISTICS RELEVANT TO DESPERATELY DEPENDENT COMMUNITY
Recent statistics have listed Chattanooga, Tennessee with remarkable distinctions. Gallup released a 2013 analysis of the top 189 U.S. metro areas to report that Chattanooga is among the 10 most unhappy metro areas in the United States. According to the American Bible Society's 2014 study, Chattanooga was listed #1 of America's Most Bible-Minded Cities. Are these statistics proof that Christianity makes no significant difference to well-being? Many hypotheses can be submitted, but ultimately we should ask if it is true or false that you “are complete through your union with Christ” (Col. 2:10 NLT)?
Chattanooga, the buckle of the Bible belt, is not the only conundrum. Paradoxical ministry statistics abound.
1. 23% of the pastors surveyed said they felt happy and content on a regular basis with who they are in Christ, in their church, and in their home! (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
2. 71% of pastors stated they were burned out, and they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis. (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
3. 77% of the pastors we surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage! (Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development)
4. Almost 40% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry. (The Shaeffer Institute distilled research from Barna, Focus on the Family, and Fuller Seminary)
5. 54% of the pastors had viewed internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days. [In March of 2002 RickWarren’s (author of the Purpose Driven life) Pastors.com website conducted a survey on porn use of 1351 pastors.]
6. The typical pastor has his greatest ministry impact at a church in years 5 through 14 of his pastorate; unfortunately, the average pastor lasts only five years at a church. (Barna)
7. Most statistics say that 60% to 80% of those who enter the ministry will not still be in it 10 years later, and only a fraction will stay in it as a lifetime career. (The Shaeffer Institute distilled research from Barna, Focus on the Family, and Fuller Seminary)
8. The New York Times published an article on August 8, 2010 stating:
The findings have surfaced with ominous regularity over the last few years, and with little notice: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.
9. The majority of pastor's wives surveyed said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry. (Mark Driscoll, "Death by Ministry")
10. Eighty percent of adult children of pastors surveyed have had to seek professional help for depression. (2002)
11. 34% of Christians feel called to the work they currently do (among those who are presently employed). (Barna)
12. Only 5% of people who describe themselves as Christian and involved in a church indicated that their church does anything to hold them accountable for integrating biblical beliefs and principles into their life. (Barna)
Colossians 2:6–7 reminds us:
And
now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to
follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on
him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you
will overflow with thankfulness (NLT). Maturing is a continual process.
Desperately Dependent Community
offers relevant truths to challenge Christian ministers and workers to
re-evaluate life and ministry at the point of deepest need. Believing that
problems expose the plight that Jesus is missing, through a discipleship
process and mentoring relationships individuals are motivated to find Christ as
their all-sufficient solution.
The primary services of
Desperately Dependent Community offer a continuum of
- TEACHING people to find Christ relevant to every area of life,
- TENDING to ministers and ministry families as they discern how Christ is relevant to promoting effective and sustained ministries, and
- TRAINING Christian workers to be effective in leading others to find Christ relevant to every area of life.
Our primary
focus includes:
- Christian Ministers
- Full time, part time, bi-vocational, senior pastor, music minister, youth minister, minister of discipleship, missionary, etc.
- Ministers may be thriving in ministry or merely surviving.
- Ministers are offered support, encouragement, consultations, counseling, teaching, and training thereby promoting effective, sustained ministries.
- Ministry Families
- Spouses of ministry leaders, children whether young or adult children, and extended families that are impacted by ministry
- Families may be adjusting to ministerial changes, pressures within the ministry, or a wide variety of family issues resulting from ministry interactions.
- Families are offered support, encouragement, consultations, counseling, teaching, and training thereby promoting effective, sustained families.
- Lay Leaders and Christian Workers
- Individuals occupying leadership positions in the church and those seeking to live an authentic Christian lifestyle in every area of life
- Official and/or unofficial positions necessitate continuing ministry as individuals progress toward spiritual maturity.
- Leaders and workers may receive teaching, mentoring, training, support, encouragement, counseling, and direction.
- Churches and Ministry Organizations
- Churches and organizations including personnel committees, deacon boards, elders, mission organizations, etc.
- Corporate entities may require assistance in promoting effective, sustained ministries through preventative care and/or crisis assistance.
- Consultations, teaching, training, and evaluations are offered.
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